Friends, Neighbors, and Companions

Dr. Steve Viars July 13, 2002

Introduction
- This summer we've been studying what the Scripture says about different groups of people.
- in the last couple of weeks we've talked about husbands and wives, and parents and their children…today we'd like to study what the book of Proverbs says about Friends, Neighbors, and Companions.
- we're going to be using those terms interchangeably this morning..
- Warren Wiersbe reminded us of a saying by G.K. Chesterton that God commanded us to love both our neighbors and our enemies because they are often the same people.
- it is important to note that the book of Proverbs really has a lot to say about this topic…there are dozens of verses devoted to this matter.
- INPUT - Given the nature of this book, does that surprise you? Why or why not?

- we would like to divide our time today around the ideas of the challenge of choosing friends wisely, and the character of godly friendships.

I. The Challenge of Choosing Friends Wisely


- one of the clear emphases of the Proverbs when it comes to this topic is, be careful.
- one's friends can either be a marvelous blessing, or a terrible curse…
- that is true for at least two reasons…

A. Because of their powerful influence.

- Proverbs 12:26

- Proverbs 13:20

- [show transparency of college friends---talk about the impact each had on you toward ministry…also talk about where many of them are today…
- Sam Barfell
- Ed Hlad
- Greg Davies
- Mark Malin
- Tom Ahlgrim
- Rick Tonelli

- [could also show a transparency of NANC board --- talk about the power of influence]

- another reason this topic is a challenge is…
B. Because many friendships can be shallow or destructive.

1. based on money

- Proverbs 14:20

- Proverbs 19:4, 6-7

- INPUT - How can you tell if a relationship was only based on money?

2. based on sinful behavior

- Proverbs 16:29-30

- Sometimes people get together, not because they like each other, but because they share a common love for a kind of sinful behavior.

- INPUT - Examples of friendships centered more on a love for sinful behavior than a love for one another?

3. model foolish speech

- Proverbs 14:7

4. model sinful anger

- Proverbs 22:24-25

5. model rebellion

- Proverbs 24:21-22 [NIV]

- the principle here is, we often become like our friends.
- that can be good news if we have made good choices, or bad if we haven't.
- INPUT - Questions we should be asking based on these verses?

II. The Characteristics of Godly Friendships

A. Love

- Proverbs 17:17

- Proverbs 18:24
[point of the first half of the verse is that a man who makes friends too easily will come to ruin, because of the ideas we've discussed above]
B. A source of helpful counsel

- Proverbs 27:9

- Proverbs 27:17

- INPUT - What is the prerequisite for being this kind of friend?
- [discuss the importance of knowing the Scriptures]

C. Is lovingly honest

- Proverbs 27:6

- INPUT - Why and how is this verse true? Does this happen as often as it should? Why of why not?

D. Can cover offenses

- Proverbs 27:6

- INPUT - How do we know when love should cover an offense?


E. Can keep confidences

- Proverbs 25:9-10

- Proverbs 11:13 [NIV]

- INPUT - Why is gossip such a strong temptation? How is this topic related to friendships?

F. Knows when to leave!

- Proverbs 25:17


Adult Bible Fellowship
Friends, Neighbors, and Companions
Proverbs Series #40

Introduction
INPUT - Given the nature of this book, does that surprise you? Why or why not??

I. The Challenge of ______________ Friends Wisely
A. Because of their _____________ _______________.
• Proverbs 12:26
• Proverbs 13:20
B. Because many friendships can be _____________ or __________________.
1. Based on ____________
• Proverbs 14:20
• Proverbs 19:4, 6-7
INPUT - How can you tell if a relationship was only based on money?
2. Based on ___________ ______________
• Proverbs 16:29-30
INPUT - Examples of friendships centered more on a love for sinful behavior than a love for one another?
3. Model ______________ ______________
• Proverbs 14:7
4. Model ____________ ____________
• Proverbs 22:24-25
5. Model ________________
• Proverbs 24:21-22 [NIV]
INPUT - Questions we should be asking based on these verses
II. The Characteristics of ___________ Friendships
A. _________
• Proverbs 17:17
• Proverbs 18:24
B. A source of helpful _____________
• Proverbs 27:9
• Proverbs 27:17
INPUT - What is the prerequisite for being this kind of friend?
C. Is lovingly ____________
• Proverbs 27:6
INPUT - Why and how is this verse true? Does this happen as often as it should? Why of why not?
D. Can cover ______________
• Proverbs 27:6
INPUT - How do we know when love should cover an offense?
E. Can keep ___________________
• Proverbs 25:9-10
• Proverbs 11:13 [NIV]
INPUT - Why is gossip such a strong temptation? How is this topic related to friendships?
F. Knows when to ___________!
• Proverbs 25:17

Dr. Steve Viars

Roles

Senior Pastor - Faith Church

Director - Faith Legacy Foundation

Bio

B.S.: Pre-Seminary & Bible, Baptist Bible College (Now Clarks Summit University)
M.Div.: Grace Theological Seminary
D.Min.: Biblical Counseling, Westminster Theological Seminary

Dr. Steve Viars has served at Faith Church in Lafayette, IN since 1987. Pastor Viars leads and equips Faith Church as Senior Pastor with a focus on preaching and teaching God’s Word and using his organizational skills in guiding the implementation of the Faith Church mission and vision. He oversees the staff, deacons, and all Faith Church ministries. Dr. Viars serves on the boards of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, Biblical Counseling Coalition, Vision of Hope, and the Faith Community Development Corporation. Steve is the author, co-author, or contributor to six books and numerous booklets. He and his wife, Kris, were married in 1982 and have two married daughters, a son, and five grandchildren.

Read Steve Viars’ Journey to Faith for the full account of how the Lord led Pastor Viars to Faith Church.

View Pastor Viars' Salvation Testimony Video