I Corinthians 7:15-40

- tonight we're back in our study of I Cor. 7 talking about
God's principles for marriage, divorce, and remarriage
- you may remember that Paul addressed three different groups
in these verses

- He's spoken to believer married to believers - and said -
No divorce, God wants you to stay married
- we mentioned an exception the Bible recognizes, but the
overall principle is - no divorce

- Paul also spoke to believers married to unbelievers who
wanted to stay in the marriage
- God's word to them was - no divorce
- stay in that marriage and use it as an opportunity for
evangelism for you spouse and children

- Tonight, we're going to look at God's Word to the third
group of people and then move further into this chapter
- (starting with Roman III because this is a continuation of
the notes)

III. God's Word To Believers Married To Unbelievers Who Want
To Leave

- read 15-16

A. Meaning of "pleased to dwell"

- not a "pleasure to live with"

- talking about desertion

- talking about the spouse who's in and out the house
for weeks at a time

- talking about the spouse who's no longer interested
in a monogamous family relationship

- we said a couple of weeks ago that there are three things,
biblically speaking, that can end a marriage
1) death
2) ongoing sexual sin for which the person will not
repent
3) desertion

- the person who has deserted the family and his/her
marital vows

B. Command

- let that person depart

- don't have to fight, manipulate, cajole

- now, that believer will want to communicate that
they want the marriage, that they're willing to
make any biblical changes in order to preserve the
marriage, but - if he departs, let him depart

C. Provision

- not under bondage (not under obligation to somehow
keep that marriage going)
- believer has done all he/she is required to do to
make that marriage successful
- they're no longer married and the relationship has
ceased

- is now free to marry in the Lord

- now, verse 15 tells us why God has made this provision -
why is it according to end of verse 15?
- because God has called us to peace

- the Lord doesn't want continued turmoil and unrest in the
believer's life
- its over with - settled - the believer's at peace

- it could very well be that the Lord could use that
unruffled attitude on the part of the believer, even during
the divorce proceedings, as a great testimony and witness
to the unbeliever who filed for the divorce

- these are very important verses, not just for folks who are
in this situation, but also for all of us as wee seek to
please the Lord in our relationships with those who don't
know the Lord

- let me ask you to turn to Rom. 12:18 and we'll look at a
verse that states this same principle very clearly
- READ

D. Principle - Believers must seek to be at peace with
others (with these two conditions)

1. realizing that its not always possible

2) understanding that they're only responsible for
their side of the equation

- that brings us to an important question - and that is -
What do you do when it comes to choices between pleasing
God or being at peace with others
- not saying those categories are always mutually
exclusive (in fact - often pleasing God results in
peace with others)

- but you and I know that there are times where it
comes to choices
- please God or be at peace with those around

- one question tonight is - when it comes to choices - which
do you choose?

- I've been reading through the book of Joshua, and at the
end of Joshua's life he comes to the children of Israel
and makes a very important speech

- READ Josh. 24:14-15

- when you think about it, its really amazing that Joshua
would have to make these statements at this period in the
history of Israel
- they've just moved into the promised land
- the Lord has blessed and the people are rejoicing in that
blessing

- but Joshua says - all that victory in the past doesn't
insure godly living in the future
- he says - you've got a choice to make
- serve God - or serve all the idols your fathers
worshipped in Israel
- see, choose you this day whom ye will serve...but as
for me and my house--we will serve the Lord

- we face the same kind of choices today - God or idols...and
one of the most powerful idols our world has to offer
today is popularity, applause, acceptance, peace
- but sometimes that can only be gained by forsaking the
Lord and his commands

- now let's think first about how this would apply to the
person who's in this specific situation in their marriage
- then we'll broaden it out

- let's say a person's a believer - they're married to an
unbeliever who's not pleased to dwell with them
- perhaps they've already filed for divorce
- maybe they're simply living in a way that shows
they're not intending to continue a monogamous
marital relationship
- now that's a painful time for that believer
- I don't care who you are - that's going to hurt

- a person you loved, a person you said you'd spend the rest
of your life with, perhaps a person you had children with
- is saying they no longer want you
- they don't approve of you anymore, they want out of the
relationship

- let's assume the believer has communicated that they want
the marriage and they're willing to take any biblical
steps to work out the problems and the unbeliever has
still refused - they want a divorce

- now that believer has a choice to make - Am I going to obey
this passage of Scripture in I Cor. 7 and let the person
depart, or am I going to attempt any number of sinful means
to get my spouse back, to gain his/her approval, to try to
manipulate or win that person back

- now let's brainstorm this together
- what sinful means might she be tempted to try if she's
going to worship at the idol of acceptance and approval
(let's divide our answers into two parts:
1) sinful actions the former spouse might demand in
order to reconcile the relationship?

2) sinful habits the person might fall into in order
to manipulate or cajole the person back?

- bottom line - this person is going to be faced with the
decision - "choose you this day whom you will serve -
will you serve God and do what he says - or will you
worship at the idol of acceptance and approval,
regardless of the cost?"

- now this principle can be broadened out to apply to each a
and every one of us.
- repeat principle (D.)

- it ought not to surprise us that we are faced with the
choice of pleasing God or gaining the acceptance of people
- one of the reasons for that is - it happened all through
the Bible

INPUT - what Bible characters can you think of who faced
opposition because of their relationship to God?

INPUT - what things are true of a believer that would make an
unbeliever uncomfortable if he/she is not going to accept
Christ?

- develop - talk about the Bible
- I have trouble carrying on a conversation without
mentioning some principle from the Bible
- you probably do too (cf. primary diff. - Eph. 4:22-
24)

- see, the question is - what do you when it comes to choices
between pleasing God or gaining acceptance or approval of
others?
- if we observed you around the office?
- in the neighborhood? when you go home for holidays?
- when you're out with the guys? girls?
- at the class reunion?

- so Paul has spoken to three categories of believers
I. Believers married to believers - don't divorce
II. Believers married to unbelievers who want to stay -
don't divorce - use that as an opportunity to live a
holy life in front of your spouse and children
III. Believers married to unbelievers who want to leave -
let them depart - a brother or sister is not under
bondage in such cases

Paul's going to move on in verses 17-24 to give a;

IV. Principle To Help Everyone Regardless of Their Marital
State

- this one applies to persons in each of the categories
we already mentioned
- it surely applies to singles (which you remember he
discussed earlier in this chapter and whom he's going
to discuss in some detail later in the chapter)

- READ verse 17-24

- principle is this - Be content regardless of the condition
you're in
- now you know we're not talking about apathy
- we're not talking about being complacent about your
spiritual growth
- but Paul is saying - You need to learn to be content in the
marital situation in which you currently find yourself

- doesn't mean that a single who comes to the conviction that
he/she doesn't have the gift of celibacy might not marry
some day

- that’s not what we're talking about - we're talking about
today, and the way you think about - the way you respond
to - the marital condition you currently find yourself in

- see, the problem in Corinth was - there was great
discontent coupled with a difference of teaching on the
issue
- people who were married to unbelievers wanted to divorce
- people married to believers wanted to divorce
- singles wanted to get married
- married wanted to get single

- Paul says - you desperately need to learn to be contented
in the situation you're currently in
- he makes that point three different times in this passage

A. regarding circumcision

- so he's using the issue of circumcision to
illustrate his idea
- of course those who were legalists said the
believers must still be circumcised in order to go
to heaven
- resulting in some new uncircumcised believers
being discontented because they hadn't been
circumcised

- others taught that believers shouldn't be
circumcised - so there was actually a surgical
process available in that day to go from being
circumcised to uncircumcised
- so you've got uncircumcised discontented people

- Paul says - No - be contented in the condition you
find yourself in
- if you're circumcised - fine
- if you're not – that’s fine too - be content in
the situation you're in

- he goes on to apply that truth to slavery

B. Regarding slavery

- we're told that as many as half the people in the
Roman empire were slaves
- though he didn't put his stamp of approval on
slavery -Paul uses that volatile issue to
illustrate his point
- if you're a slave - learn to be contented in
that position
- don't chafe under it - don't try to get
out of it
- be content - let every man abide in the
calling in which he was called

- if it's possible for you legally to be freed - fine - but
that shouldn't be the driving issue in your life
- learn to be content in the situation God has placed you in

- then Paul just states the general principle all by itself
a third time

C. In general

- v. 24 - let every man, in whatever state he is
called, to there abide with God

- now its very important to see that Paul's not talking here
about circumcision or slavery per se - he's using those as
illustrations to prove a point about marriage

- learn to be content in whatever marital state God has
placed you

- see, why did believers need to be told in verses 10-11 that
they can't divorce? - because of the temptation to be
discontented in marriage

- why did believers married to unbelievers need to be told
that they cannot divorce in verses 12-14 (send that spouse
away)? Because of the temptation to be discontented in
that situation.

- why were believers married to unbelievers who had deserted
them told to let that person depart - because of the
temptation to be discontented in that situation.

- why are singles about to be admonished about the values of
remaining single? - Because of the temptation to be
discontented in that situation.

- Paul gives us a principle to help all of us - regardless
of our marital condition - and that is - "let every man,
in whatever state he is called - to there abide with God."

- that leads us to a second critical question tonight and
that is - how contented are you in your current marital
state - and what are you doing to grow in that
contentment?

- INPUT - what are some influences that can make it difficult
to grow in that contentment, and what are some
influences that will make growing in contentment easier?

D. Application to marital states

- one of the things we're talking about tonight is
avoiding the "greener grass" syndrome
- some spouse sit around and daydream about what it
would be like to be married to this person or that
person
- about how easy life would be if they married
someone else
- maybe humanly speaking - that would be true
- but the bottom line is - according to this passage - that
kind of thinking is nothing but sinful

- there's no place for thinking about, or fantasizing about
how great it would be if you could just get a divorce
- if you could just be married to so and so

- that kind of thinking will be counterproductive to doing
what these verses are saying

- see, are you working at being contented where you are?

- we need to beware of the tendency to glorify the past and
exaggerate the future.
- it was so great before I married so and so
- life's going to be so rotten if I continue in this
situation
- glorifying the past and exaggerating the future

- that’s what the children of Israel did in the wilderness
- remember what they said to Moses
- Oh that we could only be back in Egypt...
INPUT - what were they doing in Egypt (slaves
INPUT - what were the conditions like? (treated
harshly, wouldn't even supply straw to make
brick

- but they said - oh, that we could be back in
Egypt - where we sat by the flesh pots, and ate
bread to the full!

- to hear them tell - they had lifetime free
coupons to Mountain Jacks!

- they glorified the past
- they exaggerated the future - you've brought us out here to
kill us

- see, they were discontented
- you and I must beware of the temptation to fall in the pit
of discontent

- Paul says - let every man - in whatever state he is called,
there abide with God

- We also need to factor in the sovereignty of God in this
discussion
- at some point we've got to say that a sovereign God allowed
us to have the spouse we have - or to be single at least
up to this point
- we dare not be discontented with the condition He's
provided

- by doing so - we're saying that He made a mistake, that we
could do a better job of being God than He could

- last Wed. we studied Psalm 100
- verse three says - know ye that the Lord - He is God

- folks who are constantly discontented need to focus on that
verse

- know ye that the Lord - He is God

- cf. plaque - Remember 2 things
1) There is a God
2) You're not Him

- IF TIME
- cf. articles in paper on rape
- cf. Joshua 22 (it shall be a witness between us that the
Lord is God)

- we asked a moment ago - how contented are you in your
current marital state?
- a couple of other questions we could add to that are:

1) - for those who are married - how good of a job are you
doing at communicating that contentment to your spouse?
- we're not talking about ignoring problems, acting like
there's nothing to work on
- but - are you communicating in tangible ways that you
are committed to the principles in this passage?
- or is your spouse always walking on eggs because
all you do is criticize or accentuate the ways that
you're discontented?

2) what effect are you having on others and their
contentment with their marital state. Does being around
you make them more in love with their spouse or less.
Does being around you make them more satisfied with being
single or less?

- do you help folks obey these verses or make it harder
for them to do so?

- Paulo concludes this chapter with a special word to singles

- often times you hear the issue of singleness described as
if "we need to help them cope with this terrible condition"
- it's second class - it's not God's best, etc.

- these verses give:

V. Principles For Those With The Gift Of Celibacy To Help
Them Rejoice In That Gift

- now we've said all along that in the Word of God,
marriage is the norm
- but God does gives folks the gift of singleness

- one's not more spiritual than the other

- Paul gives some reasons why singleness can be a great
blessing to those who have been given that gift

A. because of the present distress

- Paul's already seeing some of the events that will
eventually lead to the full-scale persecution of
the church about ten years after he's written these
words

- so these verses have to be understood in that
context

- he's saying - it's one thing to face persecution alone
- it's something else when you also have
responsibility for a wife and child

- this isn't something that married folks should
worry about today - but those who are single can
rejoice that if things get increasingly difficult
for the church in the future, they will have less
care because they have less responsibility

B. there will be trouble "in the flesh" - v. 28

- dealing with our sinfulness is one thing, but
raising a family complicates that issue because
there are more potential sinners around

- again, that’s not something for married folks to get
uptight about - but it is something singles can
rejoice in

C. Freed from marital responsibilities - v. 32-33