The Husband's Role, Part 1

Faith Church March 28, 2010 Ephesians 5:15-33


1. We are continuing our series on: Taking the Next Step with Joy: In Our Marriages & Families

> Today is the beginning of a NEW PART of the series . . . In Our Marriages & Families – specifically, “In the Role of the Husband”

- guys, I hope you came with your helmet on, your bullet proof vest, and your steel-toed boots

- this is going to a series that is going to be a DIRECT HIT on your head, heart, and toes J

- seriously, though, this portion of our series on marriage & the family is a MUCH NEEDED topic

-- and an important topic for the strength of your marriage and of Faith Baptist Church!

2. Ladies, I hope you are praying for your husband to ‘get this’ and TAKE THE NEXT STEP in fulfilling his responsibilities as godly husband

Note: Remember, you turn is next, so be careful what you SAY and the ATTITUDE you convey to your husband during this portion of our series!

> remember, you can make his role EASY & ENJOYABLE or you can make HARD & DISCOURAGING

3. “Taking the NEXT Step” is great theme because it emphasizes progressive sanctification (doctrine of spiritual growth – explain ‘sanctification’ = to be set apart)

  • Progressive Sanctification = the process of changing and growing to become more like Jesus Christ

> identifying sinful habits (through the use of God’s Word) of thinking and action that God wants to change and REPLACE them with biblical thinking & actions

> that’s done through the work of the Holy Spirit and the power of God’s Word

4. As we go through that process, remember :

  • It’s not instant sanctification – it’s going to take some time

- you won't change overnight, but you can start changing TODAY!!

  • It’s not easy sanctification – it’s going to take some effort
  • 1 Timothy 4:7 Exercise yourself for the purpose of godliness

- it’s not “Taking the NEXT LEAP OF FAITH” but the NEXT STEP

IMPORTANT: You might want to STOP right here and PRAY for all the men in your ABF to receive the Word the way the Bereans did in Acts 17:

  • Acts 17:11 Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so.

5. Remember our goal in this study is to glorify God and to strengthen our marriages, families, and our church!

Answer: * Strong Marriages and Strong Families = Strong Churches!

8. If FBC is going to be STRONG (growing, serving, outreach, bringing glory to God), we have to have strong marriage relationships and strong families where the following are true:

  • Problems are being solved
  • Jesus Christ is the CENTER of attention – Matt. 6:33; Col. 1:18
  • The goal in life is please God by being like Jesus Christ – 2 Cor. 5:9; 1 Cor. 10:31

[OPEN your bibles to Genesis 1:26-31 – READ – then turn to Eph. 5:15-33 -READ]

- These passage not only address marriage, but also the role of the husband

* There are a number of reasons why it is important for us to be aware of what God’s says about marriage and specifically, the role of the husband!

1.]The foundation of God’s relationship to man and the foundation of the family are clearly presented in Genesis 1-3.

- That fact communicates something about the priority of God’s revelation to us.

- God established Himself as the Creator, and Moral Law Giver – therefore, He has the right establish the boundaries and expectations in life and specifically in the marriage relationship!

2. The home has been under attack since Genesis 3!

- Satan, through deception and lies, has been attacking the marriage relationship.

- He hates marriage because it gives a picture of Christ’s relationship to the church and it is yet another avenue of rebellion of which he can be a part

Point: If Satan can destroy a marriage, the Gospel is affected!

3. A large portion of the Scriptures and the discipleship process includes issues of marriage and husband’s role and the wife’s role!

- therefore, we need to be ready to handle problems as they arise in our marriage

- and we need to be ready to provide clear biblical counsel regarding marriage and the role of the husband/wife

- in reality, most men have never stopped to consider exactly what God’s says about their responsibility in the marriage relationship

- and even if a man is aware of the truth . . .

4. Being aware of truth does not always translate into practicing truth.

- We must be careful about the idea that “I’ve heard all of this before.”

  • 1 Corinthians 10:12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.

- If this material is not challenging you to change and grow, then what effect is it having?

(Knowledge alone puffs up – we can get proud and stubborn.)

> according to James 1:22-25, we are to be ‘doers of the Word’ and not hearers only!

Q: How does our culture describe the husband’s role in marriage?

  • He is the ‘bread-winner’ or the one who earns the living.
  • He works hard all day so he needs time to relax when he comes home
  • He keeps out of wife’s way as she raises the kids and leads the home.

5. So, we want to ask: Q: What does God say you ought to be doing as a husband?

- we’ll divide this up into 3 major categories – starting from Genesis 1 & 2

I. The Husband Is to Lead His Wife – Gen. 1:26, 2:18-25; Eph. 5:23; Matt. 20:25-28

- we will read Matthew 20:25-28 shortly

> context of Jesus dealing with a definition of a leader!

- we’re starting with this important quality because that is what is communicated by the order of Creation – which is part of the foundation of the husband’s leadership.

A. The biblical foundation for the husband’s leadership

- it’s simple to know that you go back to the beginning to find out where you start!

1. The order of creation establishes his leadership – Gen. 1-2

- God created Adam first, then Eve

> Eve was God’s gift to the man who had not ‘helper suitable for him’

- Paul even reinforces this concept of priority in creation:

  • 1 Timothy 2:13 For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.

Point: By virtue of the order in creation, God established Adam as the LEADER!

2. God declared the husband to be the leader – Eph. 5:23

  • Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.

- Because God is the Creator, He gets to determine the various roles and functions

- the clay doesn’t tell the Potter what to do (He’s the designer and sets our purpose for existence

B. The biblical view of the husband’s leadership – Matt. 20:25-28

  • Matthew 20:25 But Jesus called them to Himself, and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. 26 "It is not so among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, 27 and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many. "

- Remember the context of this passage:

> James & John’s mother asked that her sons be granted the position to sit next to Christ

> This stirred some controversy among the other disciples

> Probably because they didn’t think to ask the question for themselves!

1. What leadership is NOT: “lord it over them” (Gentile view) = a dictator!

- The world’s view of leadership is how many people you have serving under you!

Example: The focus is more on position and authority and demanding submission!

2. What leadership IS: Leadership = Servitude (v. 26-27)

Example: The focus is on helping those God has placed around you to grow

Quote: The test of our servitude is how you respond when you are treated like one.

Q: What is the difference between a dictator and a godly leader?


Godly Leader

  • Proud
  • Humble
  • No accountability
  • Welcomes accountability
  • Makes all the decisions w/o counsel
  • Seeks counsel before making decisions
  • Expects others to serve him
  • Serves others
  • Sinful communication (lies, anger, etc.)
  • Biblical communication
  • Selfish focus – what’s best for me?
  • Focus on others – what’s best for her?
  • Wrong motive: Pleasing self
  • Right Motive: Pleasing God
  • Expects others to change 1st
  • Willing to change 1st (good example)
  • No spiritual leadership
  • Provides spiritual leadership

* The greatest example of a leader is Jesus!

- if you lead the way He led, your marriage will be strong and God will be glorified!


Lesson: Godly women will follow godly leadership!

- I’ve met some women that if they were married to Jesus, they’d find something wrong with him!

  • But generally speaking, women will follow godly leadership!

Q: What kind of a leader are you?

Q: What ‘step’ do you need to take to be the leader God intended for you to be?

Recommend: Lou Priolo’s Book, The Complete Husband

Faith Church