The Hesed Love of God

Janet Aucoin February 26, 2021

When we think about the love of God, what do we picture? In this episode, Janet Aucoin and Jocelyn Wallace examine the faithful hesed love God holds for His people - the kind of sacrificial love that loves to its own hurt, an unchanging love that pursues those who actively run away from Him. He loves first. He loves most. He loves even to His own hurt. Taking a closer look at the steadfast love of God helps us worship deeply and correctly as we pursue a closer relationship with Him. Main Passage: John 13

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Inexpressible - Michael Card

Gentle and Lowly - Dane Ortlund

The Shepherd Trilogy - Phillip Keller

Janet: I don't just need to feel better. I need the truth. And ultimately that will make me better.
Alexandra: I just want to make it as totally simple and no brainer as possible for ladies to see that
the Bible is really applicable to their everyday life.
Jocelyn: When they understand theology, the application flows out of it quickly with joy.
Janet: It is a journey, but even the journey itself is joyful when I'm doing it, holding the hand of
my savior and trusting him all along the way. This is the joyful journey podcast, a podcast to
inspire and equip women to passionately pursue beautiful biblical truth on their journey as
women of God. When you choose truth, you're choosing joy.
Janet: Hi, I'm Janet and Jocelyn is here with me again this week. In our last show, we talked
about the beauty of our rescue and the ultimate example of Jesus. If you didn't get to hear it, I
really encourage you to go back a lot of incredibly amazing and important truths there. As part
of that, we talked about the privilege of loving each other, Biblically that that would be one of
the natural results, byproducts, of understanding we've been rescued. But I really do think that
that kind of begs the question. So, what is biblical love? And I'm going to suggest to you, it's a
little different than the way the world may be a lot different, than the way the world uses that
word. So I'm going to go through probably one of my favorite passages of Scripture, but I'm
going to start with just one verse. We could talk about biblical love for what, two years,
Jocelyn: At least.
Janet: So, but for today, let's at least start with: What is it? And so here's the end of the passage
that I want to talk about near the end. In John 13:34 and I'm going to be reading from the New
Living Translation. So it's probably a little different than you're used to, and I like that. Maybe
you can think a little more and go and compare it to yours. So, verse 34. "So now I'm giving you
a new commandment," this is Jesus speaking, "love each other, just as I've loved you, you should

love each other." Love each other just as Jesus loved them. I've read that a lot of times and we
think, yeah, that's nice. We should love each other, that's a good thing to do. So why don't we
back up? He is apparently saying "just as I have been loving you," and most specifically in
chapter 13," just the way I've loved you." That's what I want you to do. So, how did He love
them? And I do think after we look at this, at least for me, as I studied this passage, then I can
really understand what I'm supposed to be doing and what that is, and actually it's more amazing
than I thought
Jocelyn: I agree. It's so much, so much more robust, with this explanation from John 13.
Janet: So here's what I'm going to ask. Those listening and us, Jocelyn and I, to do as I go
through this passage. Please, please stop yourself from going; "Oh, my word, I don't love like
this. That's not me. Oh, I have so much. I need to grow in. How am I ever going to do this?"
We're going to get there, but here's what I just really want you to do. Would you let the reality of
how we are loved just wash you first. Can you just be amazed and just worship and stop your
mind from doing what we naturally do? How am I going to do that? What's that going to look
like for me?
Jocelyn: What behaviors should we put on because of this?
Janet:Yes, yes. Next episode. We should talk about that. We will, but let's not in this one. So let's
go back to the beginning of John 13 and I'm just going to read a little bit of it, and talk it through
with you the way that it helped me to learn, as I studied it. "Before the Passover celebration,
Jesus knew that His hour had come to leave this world and returned to His Father." Okay, I have
to stop and go "what does that mean He knew?" Not, "I'm going to get on an airplane tomorrow.
I'm going to go see My Dad again. Like this is an awesome night. Let's celebrate." Actually, what
that meant is "I know I'm about to go be crucified. I know My hour has come." If you knew that
tomorrow you were going to face, not just the most physical pain you've ever faced or that
anyone ever will ever face, but you were going to be separated for the only time in all of history,
from the One who loves you perfectly, and you were going to bear the weight of all the sin and
wrath that all of humanity ever deserved. What would you be thinking? Amazingly, it says, "He
had loved His disciples during His ministry on earth, and now He loved them to the very end."
Oh, my word, like if there was one day in all of history that somebody had the right to say, could
it please be about me? I'm thinking this is it. I'm thinking He had every right to say I have done
everything. And I'm about to do more. Tonight I would like my favorite meal and I would like
people to comfort me and to encourage me and to think about me. That's amazing. No, that's not
what He did. He loved them to the very end. "It was time for supper and the devil had already
prompted Judas son of Simon Iscariot to betray Jesus." Jesus knows that too. Jesus knew that
"the Father had given Him authority over everything. And that He'd come from God and He
would return to God." So think about, it's fascinating that John tells us this, like, that's important
for us to know right there. Number one, He has all authority over Judas, but doesn't use it. And
He has all authority over everything. And how does He use that authority? "So" as if, as a result

of knowing you have all authority over everything, "so He got up from the table, took off His
robe, wrapped a towel around His waist and poured water in a basin. Then He began to wash the
disciples feet, drying them," think of the, just the care and the detail, "drying them with the towel
He had around Him." I have all authority. So what I'm going to do with that authority is serve
you in the lowest possible way. So low that the disciples never considered washing each other's
feet. Never even considered washing Jesus's feet. That's a servant. Are you kidding? They
wouldn't even do it for each other. And He gets up with all authority and washes their feet. "
When Jesus came to Simon Peter," Peter as is always true of Peter is the first one to speak,
"Lord, are you going to wash my feet?" And Jesus tells him, "you don't understand what I'm
doing, but someday you will." "No," Peter protested, "you will never, ever wash my feet." Jesus
replied. "Unless I wash you, you won't belong to me." So now he exclaims, "then wash my hands
and head as well, not just my feet" and Jesus replies. Again, very patiently. "A person who's
bathed all over does not need to wash except for the feet to be entirely clean. And you disciples
are clean, but not all of you. For Jesus knew who would betray Him. That's what He meant when
He said "not all of you are clean"" Patiently teaching, patiently teaching, even the one who
would betray Him when I think about Jesus washing Judas' feet. Wow.
Jocelyn: It blows my mind.
Janet:And what was Judas thinking? I just wonder.
Jocelyn: Yeah.
Janet: I don't know, but I can't, I wonder. And He goes on "after washing their feet, He put on His
robe" and then again begins to teach them. More teaching. He introduces to them the idea that
they're going to be serving each other as He has served them. He starts telling them, "you don't
understand, you call Me teacher and you're right, because that's what I am. And since I, your
Lord and teacher have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other's feet." I can imagine
there was confusion at this point. "I've given you an example to follow. Do as I've done to you"
and He's acknowledging they still don't get it.
Jocelyn: Yeah.
Janet: "I tell you the truth. Slaves are not greater than their master, nor is the messenger more
important than the one who sends the message. So if you know these things, God will bless you
for doing them." You want God's blessing, serve others and consider them more important than
yourself. So He's already look at the teaching on a night when they should be considering Him
more important. And they're not. He goes on, "I'm not saying these things to all of you. I know
the ones I've chosen, but this fulfills the Scripture that says the one who eats my food is turned
against Me. I tell you this," think about this. "I tell you this beforehand, so that when it happens,
you will believe that I am the Messiah." All that He's doing even right before He dies, how can I
best benefit My disciples and help them to believe I'm going to tell you these things you don't
get. So that later you're going to go, Oh, my word.

Jocelyn: That's what He was talking about.
Janet: I totally get it now. He's not thinking so that you'll be mad at Judas. He's not thinking and
I'll get back at it. It's amazing. How, how selfless. "And I tell you the truth anyone who
welcomes My messengers welcoming Me, anyone who welcomes Me is welcoming Father, who
sent Me now, Jesus was deeply troubled." And I love that, the Bible and John took the time to let
us know that. Jesus is not emotionless. He is not only God with no emotions as a man. He felt the
betrayal because what He says next is not, "I am deeply troubled because I'm about to be in pain
physically." Jesus was deeply troubled and He exclaimed. "I tell you the truth. One of you will
betray Me." That hurt Him. When we are hurt by betrayal, He understands exactly. He was hurt
by it. And yet He's still focused on them, which is amazing to me. So I'm going to skip, a few,
verses where they're trying to figure out who it was. "As soon as Judas left, Jesus says "the time
has come for the Son of Man to enter into His glory."" Think about that what He's saying, "and
God will be glorified because of Him." If I were a disciple, I'd be going, He's about to take the
Jocelyn: He’s about to Takeover!
Janet: It's coming
Jocelyn: Come rule!
Janet: Yes. Rome is going to be displaced. It's coming because His glory is coming. "And since
God receives glory because of the Son, He will give His own glory to the Son and He will do so
at once." What is He calling His greatest glory? Crucifixion. How in the world is crucifixion
God's greatest glory. It's the greatest demonstration of a sacrificial love that will do everything to
those He loves. That's His glory. His glory is not how powerful He is though He is. His glory is
not that He has all authority though He does. He says, you want to see My glory? See how much
I love. That's amazing. "Dear children, I'll be with you only a little longer. And as I told the
Jewish leaders, you're going to search for Me and you can't come where I'm going." So now
here's our verse. "I'm giving you a new commandment, love each other the way that I have loved
you. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you're my disciples". Wow. And of
course it goes on with Peter going, "where are you going? "And Jesus, "you can't go now, but
you're going to actually follow me later." "I want to come now I'm ready to die for you." As
Jesus is teaching them, here's what He knows, "Die for me. I tell you the truth, Peter, before the
rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me." Jesus
knows that and loves and teaches and loves and teaches these weak people who can't return that
Jocelyn: And too are either planning, betrayal, or will betray. Very shortly John 13, the context is
so important for understanding John 13:34.

Janet: Yeah. And I've read John 13:34 and heard it so many times that I just think love the way
Jesus does. So I should give to you.
Jocelyn: Yeah. And it's, let's be self-sacrificial.
Janet: Yeah. It's like, no. Do you get the weight
Jocelyn: And the pain involved?
Janet: Yes. So again, we're not. First saying, how am I going to do that? But understand that's
how you're loved, understand that that's the way He loves. And as He has just told them, you're
going to deny me, look at His next words. "Don't let your hearts be troubled." It's not all the
things that I might say if I had done all of that for you, Jocelyn. And then I knew that you were
about to go and deny me. I just don't think these will be the next words out of my mouth.
Jocelyn: Yeah, don't be troubled.
Janet: Don't be troubled. I don't care. If you're troubled by, you should be troubled. " Don't be
troubled trust in God, trust Me." And then He tells them where He's going. He's encouraging
them, that He's going to come back. He's concerned about their confusion and their sorrow, not
His at the moment of greatest sorrow. We know from other gospel accounts, that in Gethsemane
later, Jesus tells Peter and John this. Matthew 26:38 He says this, "My soul is crushed with grief
to the point of death. Stay here and keep, watch with Me." Think about this is the first time I see
Him asking them to do something, to encourage Him.
Jocelyn: Yeah.
Janet: I am crushed to the point of death and I know things you don't know about why I'm just
asking you. Watch and pray with Me. He reached out to His close friends for support and they
fell asleep. They couldn't even do that. His love for them never wavered, even when He does ask
and they fall asleep and He says to them, "the flesh is weak." And then He says, " love the way
I've just loved you." So summary, as I'm thinking about that, how did He love? Well, He loved
always. He loved regardless of the behavior of the people He loved.
Jocelyn: Clearly.
Janet: He loved to His own hurt. He loved first, most. He loved to is to the cost of His own life.
Go love the way I've loved you. The weight of that we'll talk more about later, but think about
that. I'm just going to read some other verses that just maybe flesh that out even a little more
though. That's my favorite passage. If I want to understand the love of God.
Jocelyn: Yeah.

Janet: John 10:10, Jesus says, "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." That's
why He came. I didn't, I came to show you guys who I am. I came to judge. I came. I came for
you. I want you to have, what do I want for you
Jocelyn: Abundant life.
Janet: That's amazing.
Jocelyn: Yeah.
Janet: That's amazing. John, 15:11, "these things I've spoken to you." Same passage of scripture.
John 13 to 17 is one of my favorite passages in that passage. "I came and I've spoken to you that
my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full." He wants my joy to be full, even though
Peter betrayed Him, Judas betrayed Him. We all betray Him. Amazing. Go on to John 19 and
see Him at the cross in verses 25 to 27 as He's on the cross. He's caring for His mom.
Jocelyn: Yeah. I love that passage in the middle of dying, hanging on the cross. His concern was
that His mother was cared for.
Janet: That's amazing. That's amazing. John 20: 27, when Thomas, after the resurrection says,
"I'm not going to believe any of you, unless I see it myself." I think of all the things Christ could
have said when He saw Thomas, but here's what He said, "Here. Put your hands in here, see, and
believe." Compassion in his weakness. Encouraging his belief and meeting him in his weakness.
Jocelyn: Yeah.
Janet: And not saying "you're so arrogant, you don't believe like the, all the other people until
everyone else." It's like, no. Compassion. And I love some of the other, so that's all John. How
about some other places in the New Testament. Luke 23:34 as He's on the cross. Jesus says,
"Father, forgive them for, they know not what they're doing." That's not what I would be saying.
Father, judge them.
Jocelyn: Yeah.
Janet: Father vengeance. Rain it down. Yes. And when they said, why don't you come down? Oh,
I'd of come down. There's no doubt in my mind, I'd come down and said, see, I can do this.
Jocelyn: I am God. Yeah.
Janet: Yeah. While they die in their sin because I don't die for them, but no, He stays there and,
and I, it was helpful for me when I studied that verse a little bit. I've kind of been troubled by
Him. What I thought was offering forgiveness to people who haven't repented. But interesting as
it was explained, and I'm like, Oh, totally. I see that there, He didn't say I forgive them. He's
asking the Father to put them in a position to be forgiven. That's His heart toward them.

Jocelyn: Yes.
Janet: Help them understand. They don't know what they're doing. So help them see what they're
doing. So that You can forgive them. And then to know part of the fruit of that's, Paul.
Jocelyn: Yeah, exactly.
Janet: Paul was forgiven out, although he was in favor of this and supported this, Paul is one of
the answers to Jesus' prayer.
Jocelyn: That's amazing. So I never thought about that before.
Janet: That's His heart, while He's on the cross, that kind of love. I love the people doing this to
Me. That's the heart of our Savior. Mark 10:21 when Jesus is looking, talking to the rich young
ruler. It says He looked at him and loved him instead of you were so arrogant.
Jocelyn: Rolled his eyes.
Janet: And you're saying, what do I have to do? Cause I've kind of already done everything else.
What else do I have to do? The love that's there." You lack one thing, go sell everything you
have give to the poor. You'll have treasure in heaven." Not because poor people go to heaven.
But because then you'll follow Me and not trust in your riches. The heart behind that. Second
Peter 3:9, "the Lord isn't slow in keeping His promise as some understand slowness." So then
why hasn't He come back? "Because He's patient with you and He doesn't want anyone to
perish". Even those who are slandering Him and put Him on the cross and denying Him. He
wants to see them come to repentance. That's His heart. In Romans eight another amazing
chapter. I'm not going to read all of it. Just a couple of verses there. Romans 8:31 and 32, man,
"what do we say to all these things? If God's for us, who can be against us?" And this is what
we've been talking about with the cross. "He who hadn't even spare His own Son, but gave Him
up for us all. How will He not graciously give us all things?" How can I not trust a God like that?
So again, He loved always. Regardless of the behavior of those around Him to His own hurt first,
most, and that the cost of His life. And at the beginning of John. John 1:17 describing Jesus, he
says, "He was full of grace and truth." And I loved as I was studying that a little bit, recognizing
that that phrase has echoes back to the Old Testament. So now we get to venture back and say, is
Jesus the first one to show the love of God? Is it true that the old Testament shows me His wrath
and the New Testament shows me His love. Here's spoiler. No. And now this, that phrase sends
us back to Exodus 34:6 which says this " Yahweh, the Lord, the God of compassion and mercy. I
am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness." Grace and truth, faithfulness
and unfailing love. The Hebrew words hesed. And then in Greek Charis, the grace and truth were
very similar. So segwaying into, okay. So then what was this about His unfailing love and
faithfulness? What was God like in the Old Testament? And to know that Jesus is just God in the
flesh. So Jocelyn knows this cause we've both read this book. I recommended this book.

Jocelyn: I love this book.
Janet: Michael Card has written a book called "Inexpressible."
Jocelyn: It is an unbelievably amazing book, so helpful and so easy to read. And he delves into
this topic, like, like it's his life work.
Janet: Yes. And I, I knew it was coming. I'd heard him interviewed about it. And I kept saying,
when is this going to come out? Because he'd talk about it
Jocelyn: Years and years later.
Janet: And I really wanted to understand the whole book is about the word hesed. And the name
of the book is "Inexpressible" because it is inexpressible. We translate that word in English, like
29 different ways, because we don't have a word that says, hesed. So when he finally had the
book come out, I was, I need to read it again. And when I read it, I like definitions and
Jocelyn: I love definitions.
Janet: He hesitates to give one because nothing is good enough, but he finally gave a working
one in there that was, at least it gets my mind started.
Jocelyn: Wrapped around it a little bit.
Janet: And he says, "when the person from whom I have the right to expect nothing," think God "
gives me everything." And He does it because it pleases Him to do it. That's amazing. And that at
least got me start. Okay. That's the kind of love that has said every time he says hesed that's
what he's talking about. And I'm going to just read a couple of quotes from his book because he
says it better than me and in the show notes at the end, we're going to link to this book for sure.
He says this, " again and again, just when the multitude of characters in the Bible realize their
own inadequacy, their own sin, just when they realize they have a right to expect nothing. They
receive not simply a second chance at that point, but everything from God and a new age of
trusting the Lord is born." And isn't that the truth. Isn't it going to help you trust the Lord? Yeah.
When you realize that. And he goes on to say this, which I think is so true. "The great surprise of
the Hebrew Bible is not that God's awesome or holy these characteristics we would expect from
God. The great surprise is that He's kind. That He's a God of hesed. A God who loves to give
everything to people who deserve nothing." That's crazy. And that's my God and the rest of this
book, I can't do it justice. You need to read this book.
Jocelyn: And Jesus is the embodiment of that tying that to John 13 and, and the chapters that we
looked at He is that fleshed out. So we can understand it more deeply, and we can see it with our
own eyes and experience it in a personal way. So that inexpressible truth is expressed in Jesus.
Janet: Yes. Yes. We also enjoy the Bible project.

Jocelyn: I love the Bible project.
Janet: I love their videos. I think in pictures and when they can take a big topic and give me
pictures around it, I have really benefited. They do one on, Exodus, 34: 6 every phrase in there.
And the one that they do that they call "Loyal Love." But it's the translation of hesed they
describe, they define it. And again, we can, there's so many ways.
Jocelyn: You can just say 5,000 words and still never do it adequately.
Janet: Yes. But they say this, "it's love generosity, enduring commitment, promise keeping
loyalty motivated by a deep, personal care, not conditional, an expression of the giver's
character." Yes. And one of the examples in Scripture, when I think about that, if you know
anything about the life of Jacob, we don't have time to get into all of it. Let's just say, short
version, love to deceive. For years deceived his own dad, deceived his brother, deceived his
uncle, got deceived quite a bit too, but loved to trick and deceive. Tried to manipulate God. Is
going to manipulate everybody. When he recognizes who he really is before God. And when he
recognizes that God was never manipulated by him and yet God showed love. Here's his
response. " I am not worthy of all of the hesed, You have shown to me," he gets it now. This is
not, I did this. I got God to, he gets it. And I love this passage. Here we are in Numbers 14:19,
Moses is talking to God after the golden calf, when they have risen up against Moses, they're
slandering God's character, after all the hesed that He's shown them. And here's my thinking: He
showed them hesed. He gave them what they didn't deserve and what did they do back? And
Moses says, "forgive the sin of these people because of your great hesed. Continue to give" the
Bible project a quote from there that I just love. "He recommits Himself to people who don't
want to be committed to Him." I don't even know I to think about it.
Jocelyn: I don't either. And that is, that's not capable of living inside of my human brain. Like I
would never want to do that. If you mess with me, I don't ever want to look at you again.
Janet: Maybe if you repent in dust and ashes, maybe.
Jocelyn: Possibly. But if I was feeling generous.
Janet: Yeah, no. Yeah. You know, first time shame on you. Second time shame on me is what my
family taught me and I think, Oh, my word. He doesn't even care that it might look like He's
being taken advantage of. My pride goes, Oh, I don't want you to think you got one.
Jocelyn: Yeah.
Janet: He doesn't. He does. He just loves them. Psalm 136. I have to say that's a Psalm that is so
repetitive to me that its been difficult for me to read until I knew that the word was hesed. 26
times they repeat the unfailing love of the Lord. That's hesed. They're saying over and over and
over that's God's hesed. I love that. Some other passages in the Old Testament that say that.

Isaiah 54:10 "though the mountains be shaken and the Hills be removed" things that I don't know
don't move easily.
Jocelyn: You would hope not.
Janet: Exactly, but even if they did "yet, My hesed for you will not be shaken." Lamentations 3,
as they're in the middle of being judged for their wicked sin. Lamentations 3:31 and 32, "No one
is cast off by the Lord forever though He brings grief. He will show compassion so great is His
hesed." And then as you've already said, we got to see it.
Jocelyn: Yeah.
Janet: So the Old Testament, hesed is all over it. It's all over it.
Jocelyn: Yes.
Janet: But we don't see it because we don't get it. And then in the New Testament, it's slammed in
our face. And I think we still don't always see it because it doesn't make sense.
Jocelyn: It's hard to understand. And how could any one person embody that gigantic in
expressible truth, but that's what God knew we needed. We needed to see that we needed to see it
fleshed out.
Janet: Yes. So the temptation now is to say, how am I going to do that? I don't love like that. I,
how do I, I.
Jocelyn: Give me my list of things to do.
Janet: Yeah. So I can be like that.
Jocelyn: So I can do that. And just let's make this behavioristic.
Janet: Yes. And I'm asking, can we just say before we even think about anything else, how does
that impact us? Like, as you're meditating on that truth, what does that do for you? And I'm
going to ask the very first thing that I want you to do is just believe that. Believe it. And that's
not easy.
Jocelyn: It's not easy to believe that Someone could love you that much while you are denying
Him or while you are actively working against Him. He loved at that depth while people were
sinning. Yeah, He died while people were sinning against Him and it pleased Him. It brought
Him joy to love that way. So it is so challenging to know that the only thing I can do when I hear
something like this is to believe. To accept that it's true and allow Jesus' love to sink in deeply to
think about it, to meditate on it and to think it's okay for Him to love me that hugely that's a good

Janet: And I think my flesh says I'm not comfortable with that because I want to earn it when
saying I'm loved like that. It has nothing to do with me. It's not building myself up.
Jocelyn: Exactly. It feels inappropriate to stand there. Just like under the waterfall of His love
receiving it and not doing anything at all to deserve that, which is the point of Jesus' love. That's
the point of this topic is that there's nothing anyone could ever do to deserve that level of
commitment, that level of self-sacrifice, but our response needs to be stand in it and receive it,
believe that He loves you that way. Yeah.
Janet: Yes. And I've think about for us Jocelyn, and for those who are listening, I'm going to say
for one minute, pretend imagined you actually believe this and think about how that might
change even how you respond today.
Jocelyn: Yeah.
Janet: If you actually believed you were loved by Someone who loves like that. Yeah. And I have
to believe I couldn't stop smiling. I, how do you stop smiling when you're loved like that? And I
think I would just be in awe, but I'm not. And so it brings me to my second. Here's what I'm
going to suggest. Yes. Our response should just be belief. Here's what I believe is a hindrance to
belief. We need to deal with the discomfort that that brings. Yeah. We need to acknowledge that
there is something about that kind of love that is not only mindblowing, but there are things
about it. I don't like. They're just very uncomfortable. I don't know what to do with the love I
don't earn.
Jocelyn: Yup.
Janet: And it obliterates any concept I would have of the importance of my self-esteem and my
worth, and even in Christian circles, because we don't understand that kind of love. And we're
trying to fill that hole. We like to tell ourselves He must've found something in me worth dying
Jocelyn: Yep. He's kind of happy that I'm on His team. I had to bring something to the table.
Janet: Yes. And I want that. I want to know that I deserve it in some way.
Jocelyn: There's some sort of, there's some reason for validity.
Janet: Yes. And I'm uncomfortable with, I bring nothing to the table.
Jocelyn: Yeah.
Janet: Well, I kinda don't know that I want to owe you everything.
Jocelyn: Yeah. I don't want to be beholding to somebody at that level.
Janet: Yes.

Jocelyn: And if I brought nothing to the table and they still loved me that way, that would be the
only allowable response.
Janet: Yes.
Jocelyn: Unquestioning loyalty for the rest of my life.
Janet: And that's asking a lot of me.
Jocelyn: That's asking a lot.
Janet: So I'm not comfortable with that. Maybe part of how I find my identity is that I'm a good
Christian. Its my goodness. Maybe the fact that He picked me and it's important to me to know
that I deserve it. So I serve a lot of other people so that they'll also see how good I am. I have to
get rid of all of that and that's uncomfortable and that's a lot of repenting, but I would say that
this don't settle for Satan's counterfeits. That's what that is. That is a counterfeit gospel. Why
would you settle when God gives you something so much better? Why would you wake up
knowing you need to do something to deserve it again? When God says. No, you don't.
Jocelyn: You never could. Just accept it.
Janet: This is what I have to tell, because all of that even still can sound like I feel so I'm so
humble and I don't think very much of myself. And that's why I can't believe I'm loved that way.
Here's what I have to tell my soul because it's all, that's a lie from the pit as well. Stop spitting on
the cross. That's what I'm doing when I say I just can't really believe I'm love that way. Really.
You have just spit on the cross. If I had my son whom I love dearly murdered, so you could live,
Jocelyn, and then you looked at me and said, I mean, I don't know if you really love me. Are you
kidding me? How offensive.
Jocelyn: What more would it take to prove that?
Janet: Yes. How offensive. Why would I think I have a better idea than what Jesus did? Like the
arrogance. I have to see that that's arrogance, it's minimizing the cross and it's maximizing me.
So instead, humble myself and just revel. Revel in it. Be grateful for it. Take a deep breath. I
don't have to clamor anymore. It's mine. So I think we need to believe, I think we have to deal
with that discomfort and repent, and then I'm going to say here's how it ought to impact me.
Incredible freedom. Incredible freedom. We don't have time to study Psalm 1 39, maybe in a
future episode because another favorite passage of mine. But I'm gonna read the last two verses
because I believe that David understood this and if you know, David's life and the ways that he
sinned grandly and still knew that he was loved by God, I believe he understood this and here's
how he ends this Psalm. " Search me O God and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious
thoughts." Most of us don't want to even know our own. "Point out anything in me that offends
you." How many of us say that I don't even want to know it. "And lead me along the path of
everlasting life." How is it that he's not afraid to see all the things he is that offends God.

Jocelyn: Because no matter what is uncovered, God's love toward us won't change no matter
what offenses are there. And obviously he's not going to just embrace them and continue sinning.
He's saying, uncover them so that they can be dealt with, because I know that nothing will
change Your love toward me. Nothing you find will change that.
Janet: And we need that if we're going to keep growing and changing. So clearly a response
should just be then as a result of all that worship. How can you not worship a God who loves like
this when you really get it? But I do think then we have to say, so I believe that scripture teaches,
we all worship. It's just, what do we worship? So if I am not joyfully worshiping in awe at this
love, what am I worshiping and how could and should this greater understanding of God's hesed
help to reorient my worship. So here's what I'm going to ask us all to consider: prayerfully think
about what might be competing for a right worship. My husband, when he teaches on this said
this and it was really very helpful to me "think about what's that one thing, that one thing that
you would say, if I lost that I would be devastated. What is that?" Okay, Jesus. Right? What is it
really? What is it really? Is it, yeah. What is that thing? That if I lost that I would be devastated.
Maybe it's my kids. Maybe it's my spouse. Maybe whatever.
Jocelyn: My ministry.
Janet: My health.
Jocelyn: My job.
Janet: Yes. What is that? And then to ask, here's an interesting, I'd not thought about this before.
Was Jesus ever devastated? My first inclination is no cause devastated means He's at the point of
despair. No, He was never. Actually, Matthew 26: 38 says "My soul is very sorrowful even to
death." Mark, this is in Geth semmane as He is anticipating the cross. He says Mark 14:33-34.
"My soul is very sorrowful." Luke 22, being a doctor gives us this detail, "Being an agony, He
prayed more earnestly and His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the
ground." Wow. He's being devastated. What devastated Jesus? What brought him to the point of
death before He died? Being separated from His Father's presence devastated Him. Why?
Because that's who He worshiped. What will devastate you is an indicator of what you worship.
He worshiped His Father and valued Him above all else. And the thought of being separated
from His Father brought Him to the brink of death before He died. What devastates me? What
devastates you? And how can knowing you are loved by a God who loves in this way, a God of
hesed, how can that help you open your hand of that thing and know
Jocelyn: Yup.
Janet: I can worship and. The one thing that really could devastate me because Jesus was willing
to come to this point. I'll never face it. I will never be separated from the presence of the Father.
If I have humbly come to him, which we need to be very clear, that is not true for everybody.

Jocelyn: That is the means to receive His love.
Janet: Yes. Not everybody is experiencing His love. And if you're not, you will experience His
wrath. But if I have humbly come under what Christ has done and chosen to make Him my
master. We'll never be devastated. So that has to lead to gratitude. How can you not be grateful? I
need a savior like this. I need one who worshiped the Father perfectly on my behalf. I need a
God who keeps recommitting Himself to people who aren't committed to Him because that's me.
And I can only be grateful that that's what He gives me. And yes, we have to say this on the
Joyful Journey Podcast, right. There has to be a joy that can't be stopped. Like how can that not
lead to joy? Another reference, another resource I should say that we're going to be
recommending after this, session is the "Shepherd Trilogy" by Phillip Keller. Let me read, from
the first book in that trilogy, "The Shepherd Looks at the 23rd Psalm." This is your Father's heart
for you. He says this, in he's going over the 23rd Psalm and how Jesus, God is our Shepherd.
And he says "He is the owner who delights in His flock. For Him there is no greater reward, no
deeper satisfaction than that of seeing His sheep contented well fed, safe and flourishing under
His care." That's what He wants. To know that the God who could ask anything of me, this is
what He wants. "This is indeed His very life. He gives all He has to it. He literally lays Himself
out for those who are His." Wow. Which then I'm able to say this, in another page there, "again
and again, as a result of that kind of love, I remind myself, Oh God, this seems terribly tough.
But I know for a fact that in the end it will prove to be the easiest and gentlest way to get me
onto higher ground. Then when I thank Him for the difficult things, the dark days, I discover that
He's there with me in my distress. I can do that because I know that He loves me like this."
Jocelyn: That to that degree. That's such a better explanation of love than just reading first
Corinthians 13. First Corinthians 13 is just a list of things to do if you're not careful. And first
Corinthians 13 can be explored later as an application of knowing this kind of love. Why do you
love others the way that you do? Only because you have first been loved at such an extreme that
it's mind boggling.
Janet: Yes. And so then my heart should be saying, how do I show my gratitude for that? And
first Corinthians 13 tells me. Love is not this ooey-gooey emotion. It's a commitment. Well,
we've just seen that commitment. And now, you're exactly right, now. I get to say, how can I do
that? And in the next episode, we'll talk about that more for this one I do want to just mention
again, the resources that I've already mentioned. Plus another one that we have to mention if
we're going to talk about this topic. So the "Shepherd Trilogy" by Phillip Keller. "Inexpressible"
by Michael Card. The Bible Project video on hesed, we're going to link all of these things in the
show notes. And one that I didn't mention by name, but has to be mentioned.
Jocelyn: Absolutely, has to be.
Janet: "Gentle and Lowly" by Dane Ortland.
Jocelyn: It is, those are excellent resources to understand this big concept better.

Janet: I am on my second reading of "Gentle and Lowly", which is understanding that phrase, the
only way Jesus ever described His own heart, gentle and lowly and the implications for us, it has
hesed it all over it. So I would encourage you to read, watch, delve more deeply. There's nothing
I can say in the next five minutes that will do this justice. So keep delving. So thank you for
joining us today. You can find a link to this transcript and find all the resources we've talked
about in our show notes. And I really do hope you can come back for our next episode, because
we really are going to discuss how that amazing love that hesed from God can change how we
love others as well and further increase our own joy.
Janet: To keep from missing any future episodes, please sign up for our newsletter on our
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Seminary. All proceeds go to offset costs of this podcast and toward scholarships for women to
receive their MABC through Faith Bible Seminary.
Host Janet and her husband, Brent, also speak at a variety of conferences as a way to raise money
for the seminary. If you want to look at what they offer or book them for a conference, go to their

Janet Aucoin


Janet is the Director of Women's Ministry at Faith Church (Lafayette, IN); Host of the Joyful Journey Podcast (helping women learn that when you choose truth you choose joy); ACBC certified; teacher in Faith Community Institute; Coordinator of FBS seminary wives fellowship, retreat and conference speaker; B.S. Human Resources, University of South Florida.