Husbands and Wives

Steve Viars June 29, 2002

Introduction
- this morning we're going to begin looking at what the book of Proverbs teaches about the family.
- today we plan to study what Solomon taught about husbands and wives, and next Sunday what he taught about children.
- now I realize the cynic could say, what in the world does Solomon know about the family?
- that would be a fair question…please consider these verses:

1.  1 Kings 11:1-3 - Now King Solomon loved many foreign women along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the sons of Israel, “You shall not associate with them, nor shall they associate with you, for they will surely turn your heart away after their gods.” Solomon held fast to these in love. He had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines, and his wives turned his heart away.

2.  Deuteronomy 17:17 - He shall not multiply wives for himself, or else his heart will turn away; nor shall he greatly increase silver and gold for himself.

3.  1 Kings 11:4-13 - For when Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away after other gods; and his heart was not wholly devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been.
For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians and after Milcom the detestable idol of the Ammonites. Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, and did not follow the Lord fully, as David his father had done. Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the detestable idol of Moab, on the mountain which is east of Jerusalem, and for Molech the detestable idol of the sons of Ammon.  Thus also he did for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and sacrificed to their gods.  Now the Lord was angry with Solomon because his heart was turned away from the Lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice, and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods; but he did not observe what the Lord had commanded.  So the Lord said to Solomon, “Because you have done this, and you have not kept My covenant and My statutes, which I have commanded you, I will surely tear the kingdom from you, and will give it to your servant. Nevertheless I will not do it in your days for the sake of your father David, but I will tear it out of the hand of your son.  However, I will not tear away all the kingdom, but I will give one tribe to your son for the sake of My servant David and for the sake of Jerusalem which I have chosen.”
INPUT - How do we reconcile what Solomon said in the book of Proverbs with the way he lived later his life, and what lessons can we learn?
[discuss the power of hypocrisy, and the importance of staying faithful to one's vows for the long haul, and also ultimately the fact that these words were inspired by God]

- there are many ways we could organize the verses in Proverbs about marriage--we'd like to do it this way today…
- we're going to talk about the priority of marriage, and the problems of marriage, and the pleasure of marriage.

I.  The Priority of Marriage

- in this book Solomon speaks to both husbands and wives about the permanence of marriage, and the importance of remaining faith to one's marriage vows…

A.  Husbands

- Proverbs 5:15-23

B.  Wives

- Proverbs 2:16-17

INPUT - What should a married person do to demonstrate commitment to marriage vows, and what should they avoid?
[develop - being willing to communicate and solve problems, avoiding inappropriate friendships, keeping your eyes where they belong, etc.]

INPUT - What should a church do to help its members in this area?


II.  The Problems of Marriage

- because Proverbs is such a practical book, it is not surprising that there are several potential problem areas that are mentioned.
- please keep in mind that this book is written as a teaching manual from a father to his sons, so a number of verses are written from the perspective of what a young man should keep in mind as he contemplates marriage.
- just as we've said at other points of this study, these are "gender neutral sins", so they can easily be turned around and applied to men or women.

A.  Ungratefulness.

- Proverbs 18:22

- Proverbs 19:14

INPUT - What does a grateful spouse look like, and what does an ungrateful spouse look like?

B.  Destructive speech and behavior.

- Proverbs 14:1

- Proverbs 12:4

INPUT - Examples of destructive behavior on the part of either a husband or a wife?


C.  Being contentious and quarrelsome

- Proverbs 19:13

- Proverbs 21:9

- Proverbs 21:19

- Proverbs 25:24

- Proverbs 27:15-16

INPUT - Since the Bible does not teach that husbands and wives must agree on everything, how can they have honest disagreements without violating these verses?


III.  The Pleasure of a Godly Marriage

- one of the most treasured passages of Scripture is Proverbs 31, the verses we know as the description of the virtuous woman.
- of course could spend weeks talking about this, but here's the overall outline that Warren Wiersbe used….

- read Proverbs 31:10-31

A.  A woman of character - 10-12


B.  She isn't afraid to work - 13-22, 24

C.  She is generous - 20


D.  Makes it easy for her husband to do his work - 23


E.  Confident as she faces the future - 25


F.  Teacher of wisdom - 26


G.  Worthy of praise - 28-29


H.  A testimony to others - 31

 

Adult Bible Fellowship
Husbands and Wives
Proverbs Series #38

Introduction

I.  The ______________ of Marriage
A.  _______________
• Proverbs 5:15-23

B.  _______________
• Proverbs 2:16-17
INPUT - What should a married person do to demonstrate commitment to marriage vows, and what should they avoid?
INPUT - What should a church do to help its members in this area?


II.  The ______________ of Marriage
A.  _________________
• Proverbs 18:22
• Proverbs 19:14
INPUT - What does a grateful spouse look like, and what does an ungrateful spouse look like?

B.  Destructive _____________ and _______________
• Proverbs 14:1
• Proverbs 12:4
INPUT - Examples of destructive behavior on the part of either a husband or a wife?

C.  Being __________________ and __________________
• Proverbs 19:13
• Proverbs 21:9
• Proverbs 21:19
• Proverbs 25:24
• Proverbs 27:15-16
INPUT - Since the Bible does not teach that husbands and wives must agree on everything, how can they have honest disagreements without violating these verses?

III.  The _______________ of a Godly Marriage
A.  A woman of _________________ - 10-12
B.  She isn't afraid to ___________ - 13-22, 24
C.  She is _________________ - 20
D.  Makes it __________ for her husband to do his work - 23
E.  _______________ as she faces the future - 25
F.  Teacher of ______________ - 26
G.  Worthy of ______________ - 28-29
H.  A _________________ to others - 31

Steve Viars

B.S. - Bible, Baptist Bible College
M.Div. - Grace Theological Seminary
D.Min. - Westminster Theological Seminary

Pastor Steve Viars has served at Faith Church since 1987. He and his wife Kris were married in 1982 and have two married daughters, a son, and two grandchildren. Pastor Viars’ gifted teaching ministry, enthusiasm for the Word of God, and organizational skills are instrumental in equipping Faith Church. He oversees the staff, deacons, and all Faith ministries and serves on the boards of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, Biblical Counseling Coalition, Vision of Hope, and the Faith Community Development Corporation.

Read Steve Viars’ Journey to Faith for the full account of how the Lord led Pastor Viars to Faith Church.

View Pastor Viars' Salvation Testimony Video