I Corinthians 7:25-40

- tonight we're going to be finishing up our study on I Cor.
7 and the subject of Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage
- you remember that in chapter 7 Paul is addressing several
different groups of folks
- so far we've studied three groups and what Paul has said to
them

- INPUT - who can tell me one of the groups Paul addressed
and what he said to them?

1) believers married to believers - (Don't divorce) -
unless you fall in one of the exceptions we spoke
about earlier)
2) believers married to unbelievers who want to stay -
(don't put them away) - because of the great
opportunity for evangelism both for your spouse
and your children
3) believers married to unbelievers who want to leave -
(let them depart) - you ought to communicate that
you want to be married/that you are willing to
make whatever biblical changes you ought to make
- but if the person wants to leave - let them
leave - don't manipulate, cajole, give in to
that person's sinful demands, develop sinful
habits yourself in order to preserve the
marriage
- let them depart

- the plan tonight is this
- Paul's still going to address two more groups of folks
in this chapter (singles and widows)
- we're going to study what he said to them, and then
finish up by going back to the verses right in the
middle of this passage on contentment, and talk about
some ways those verses should cause us to change

- read 25-35

I. Principles For Singles To Help Them Rejoice In That
Condition

- there are several things we need to say in an
introductory way about these verses

A. Introductory comments
1. there are "different kinds" of singles

1) those who have the gift of celibacy
- INPUT - we've already read about that in
this passage - do you remember where? (7)

- now remember, we saw from verse one that
that condition is no more spiritual than the
person who's married
- this idea that the real "holy people" are
the ones who take some kind of oath of
celibacy and the ones who choose to be
married are less spiritual is not a biblical
idea at all
- if that was true, God would have told Adam
and Eve, the only two people in the world
other than Christ who lived in a sin-free
existence and as a result had direct contact
with God Himself...
- God would have told them to remain
unmarried
- but He did just the opposite
- He married them...He performed the
ceremony

- that being said, there are folks who have been given
the "gift of celibacy" by God
- these verses will help folks who have that gift rejoice
in their single condition

2) those who desire to be married but aren't
married yet

- Paul's giving some advantages of singleness
that can be a source of rejoicing for all
singles, even if they don't intend to remain
single the rest of their days

3) those who have been divorced

- some in this condition have been through
"biblical divorces" and may be remarried
some day
- these verses can be an aide to them, even if
they don't plan to remain single forever

- We also need to mention that these verses have some great
principles for those of us who are married - because as
Paul lists some of the advantages of being single...
- in so doing he is giving us some things we must caution
against in our marriages and families

2. these verses "go against" the way singleness is
often viewed in America

- INPUT - what are some of the "typical American
views" about singleness?
- the worst thing that can happen to a person
- must help them cope with this dreaded
"disease"

- especially hard at the holidays - (develop)
- point is - it's good for all of us to think about whether
we've allowed the Scripture to control the way we think
about singleness, because these verses present a
perspective that is contrary to the way our society thinks

3. must be understood in light of "the present
distress"

- there are some very strong statements in these
verses
- I think we'd make a mistake if we don't factor
into the discussion that Paul is talking a
special condition that the Corinthians were
facing

- we're talking about what Paul says in verse 26 (read)
- the question is - what does Paul mean by "present distress"

- the answer is - we don't know for sure, specifically
- but we can say this
- it is connected with the end times in some way
- INPUT - how do we know that?
- (V. 29 - the time is short)

- then the question becomes - Is Paul saying that the time
is short because he saw the oncoming persecution of the
church that would begin just 10 years after this was
written - or was he talking about the impending return
of Jesus Christ?
- I think we need to say - you can't fully separate those two

- the Bible clearly teaches that believers will face
persecution
- it also clearly teaches that Jesus could return at any
minute

- so what do we do with verses like these where Paul makes
some strong statements about the values of singleness?

- I think we need to avoid two ditches

1) to say that our situation is exactly parallel to the
Corinthians in terms of the persecution we face.
- Foxes book of Martyrs reports that one of the early
martyrs came from Corinth
- its probable that Paul was already seeing some
events leading up to that
- (things could turn around here tomorrow) - but we
have to interpret Scripture in its context - and
our contexts are not exactly parallel

2) the other ditch - and the one that we ought to be
concerned about the most - is the person who would say
- well, these verses don't apply to us at all

- Paul's talking about the end times, and the Bible
makes it clear that a believer's view of the end
times ought to include at least these three ideas:
1) No one knows when Jesus will return
2) It may be today
3) Therefore, I must live in a way that seeks to be
ready for the Lord's return
- that’s why Paul told Titus in Titus 2:12-13 - "Teaching us,
that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live
soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present age.
Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing
of the great God and our Savior, Jesus Christ."

- that’s why John said - "every man that hath this hope
purifieth himself, even as He is pure."

- now with those thoughts in mind - let's look at the
Principles Paul gives to help singles rejoice in that
condition

B. Principles

- one of the key phrases in this passage is verse 32
- NASB - "I want you to be free from concern"
- I've chosen to use that wording in this part of the
outline

- Paul says - one of the benefits of being single is:

1. you're free from the concern that living in the
end times presents to your family members

- Verse 28 says - if a single person decides to
get married, they havn't sinned, but they will
have trouble in this life

- now again, we need to take that in light of
it's context
- the degree of trouble may differ from time
period to time period

- but the point is definitely always true -
raising a family in this day and age presents
some concerns
- INPUT - what kind of concerns?

- now we need to say this - we're not giving
this information to downgrade marriage, or
discourage marriage
- but a person who is married needs to recognize
that biblically speaking, they have taken on
some unique responsibilities by seeking to
raise a family in the end times

- that's not saying - don't get married - it's saying--don't
take marital and family responsibilities lightly
- that, in and of itself, is a major problem -- couples who
don't think seriously about the major responsibilities
they are taking on in their marriage vows
- that's one of the reasons the divorce rate is so high
- some folks view changing spouses about like they change
cars
- 4 years and junk it - that person hasn't taken those
responsibilities seriously

- its true also of believing spouses who stay married but who
don't seek to understand the times
- as a result - they are easy prey for false teaching and
error
- point is - raising a family in this day and age is serious
business
- again – that’s not said to discourage marriage -- its said
to help all of us view that responsibility biblically and
seriously

- of course, the implications to singles is clear - here's a
reason to rejoice in your singleness
- that’s a concern that God in His sovereignty, has not put on
your shoulders

- instead of being bitter about that, or stewing about that,
having a pity party about that
- Paul says - think biblically about that
- here's a reason for rejoicing!

- now you might say - Wait PV - you left a group out
- what about single parents? We've got the pressure of
raising children in the last days without a spouse to
help. Doesn't that mean we have the "worst of both
worlds?"
- listen - absolutely not!
- it is not true that adding a spouse, any spouse, will
automatically make the situation better.

- putting another sinner in the equation complicates matters
further
- and the believer who's in such a rush to be married
that they marry the first person that comes along is
heading down a very painful path

- Paul also says:

2. you're free from the concern of meeting the needs
of another person/family

- now, I don't want to repeat the same points under each of
these reasons, but--
- Paul's not downgrading marriage or discouraging marriage
- we're simply saying - those of us who are married need
to face some thing and those of us who are single need
to face some things

- we're talking this point from verses 33-34 (READ)

- when Paul talks about the cares of the world - he's not
using it in a negative way
- its not the same as when John says - "love not the
world - neither the things of the world"

- the cares of the world here are just the everyday needs
of life
- bottom line is - a person who is married, or a person
who has children, has more of the concerns of the
world they have to think about

- now, you can't tell a couple that who's wanting to be
married
- they want to say "well, two can live as cheap as one"
- Yea, for half as long!

- but there's just more concerns
- remember when you were single - when you wanted to go
somewhere - you went
- you could start thinking about getting ready 20 minutes
before you had to go
- grab a piece a cold pizza (which was probably under a pile
of clothes) on the way out the door
- you could pack your schedule with things to do

- that changes when you're married
- you've got to think about the other's person's schedule
- you've got to adjust to the rate at which the other
person gets ready to go somewhere
- you've got to be more concerned about nutrition, health

- then add a couple of kids to that equation

- children are a great gift
- I wouldn't trade that privilege for anything

- but there's some added cares
- forget about ever walking out to the car without
something in your hands

- stroller, car seat, diaper bag, extra clothes, toys,
snacks, bottles
- after you have kids - you're like a pack mule - you
may as well strap saddle bags to your back and learn
how to neigh!

- of course none of us would complain about that - but we
have to look at that realistically
- there's a lot more concerns that come with spouses and
families
- I mentioned some of the trivial ones - but there's ones
that are a lot more serious

- Paul wants married couples to be sure they're fulfilling
those responsibilities and singles to rejoice in the fact
that God has chosen to free them from that at this period
of their lives

3. free from the added temptation of neglecting more
important spiritual duties

- now we have to be very careful here
- the family is important spiritual ministry
- that’s a person's first mission field
- failure to minister to family disqualifies a
person from Christian service to others

- however - we have to deal with the points Paul is making

- there is an added temptation when you're married and have a
family
- vs. 32 - "he that is unmarried cares for the things that
belong to the Lord"
- vs. 34 - The unmarried woman cares for the things of the
Lord"
- vs. 35 (read)

- see, we're talking about the temptation to be distracted
from the things of the Lord
- that’s a temptation that folks who are married and single
face alike

- but clearly Paul is saying that being married and having
a family makes that temptation greater

- now, I fully believe that I can minister more effectively
as a married man for a whole number of reasons
- I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that the pastor who
married Kris and I said - "that’s the best thing that ever
happened to you, Viars"
- humanly speaking - I wholeheartedly agree

- I think as you look around our church - you see many
couples that minister effectively because they
complement one another and accentuate each other's
gifts and abilities

- but we need to say this strongly - that is not automatic
- some couples get married and their effectiveness for the
Lord goes down

- now, let's put that in balance
- the nature of their ministry for the Lord is going to
change-and there's nothing wrong with that
- married couples minister differently than singles do

- but, if the net effect of their impact on the kingdom of
God is diminished because they are married - something is
wrong

- that does happen
- where couples are married - and you don't see them
again
- all of a sudden there's little time for church
- little time for people
- little time for evangelism
- little time for service

- that's wrong
- marriage itself isn't wrong - but falling into the
temptation of BEING DISTRACTED from the service of God is

- that’s why Paul gives the illustrations in this chapter that
he does

- INPUT - what four things does Paul liken marriage to in
verses 30-31? (weeping, rejoicing, having things,
living in the world)

- we need to see the point of his illustrations
- there's nothing inherently wrong with weeping,
rejoicing, having things, living in the world
- BUT - they all have potential dangers
- they all can be taken to excess
- weeping can turn into depression, rejoicing can turn into
frivolity, having things can turn into covetousness, and
living in the world can turn into worldliness
- good things can become bad if we're not aware of the
excesses
- that’s even true of such a beautiful, and wonderful, and
potentially God-honoring thing as marriage
- some have gotten married and then become distracted

- Kris and I have been reminded of that at Christmas time

- cf. Christmas cards - friends who married and then dropped
out of service for the Lord
- (if time - hit the issue of "double dipping" - serving as a
family)

- so Paul's point is - those who are married - beware of the
added temptation you've opened yourself up to
- not downgrading marriage or discouraging marriage,
just beware of the temptation

- Paul said in Col. 3:2 - "Set your affection on things
above - not on things of the earth"

- singles - here's another reason to rejoice--we all have to
face the temptation of neglecting spiritual duties -- but
the Lord has placed you in a position where that
temptation is not intensified because of family
responsibilities

- now, we need to ask ourselves some hard questions here

- first - for those who are single

1) what is your view toward your single condition?
- not asking you if you desire to be single forever
- but do you have a biblical view of singleness?
- if you're not satisfied being single today - you
won't be satisfied being married either

- the Lord has provided some great reasons in these
verses to rejoice in singleness

- for those who are married
1) have you taken the responsibilities that come with
marriage seriously?
- are you seeking to protect your family from/ and
teach your family about the dangers of living in
this end age?
- are you seeking to become a man or woman who
understands the times?
- are you serious about meeting the material needs
of your family, both now and in the future.
- have you taken whatever steps are necessary to
insure that family concerns don't distract you
from your relationship with the Lord and your
service to Him?

2) What is our attitude toward singles?
- are we helping singles have a biblical view of that
condition or are we adding to the problem?

- to finish these verses off, let me just mention that Paul
also has some instructions for widows at the end of the
chapter

II. Principles For Widows

- read 39-40

A. Spouses are bound for life

- that’s consistent with what we've studied earlier in
the chapter

B. Death severs the marriage bond

C. Widows are free to remarry

D. Must marry a believer