Colossians 3:18

- we're beginning the new year by moving into a very exciting and helpful
section of the book of Colossians.

- as you know, this book's theme is the preeminence of Jesus Christ
- Paul wants these dear folks to be convinced of that great truth, and
then to live in a way that is consistent with it.

- now, in chapter 3, we're getting down to what that approach to life
really looks like.
- in other words--what happens where the rubber hits the road.

1) it's one thing to say you believe that Christ is preeminent,
it's something else to "let the peace of Christ rule your
heart"

2) it's one thing to say you believe that Christ is preeminent,
it's something else to "let the Word of Christ dwell in you
richly"

3) it's one thing to say you believe in the preeminence of Jesus
Christ, it's something else to let His name motivate you, and
guide the way you speak and behave.

- now, while verses 15-17 have been intensely practical--the rest f the
verses in the chapter are at least that practical--and even more
specific.

- this morning we're talking about:
"Wives Demonstrating That Jesus Is Preeminent By Joyfully Submitting
To Their Husbands."

- read verse 18

- now, on the surface, that verse is pretty cut and dry.
- Paul doesn't mince any words
- it's not a long detailed argument
- there aren't any big words
- Paul's point is that one way you can tell if a woman believes
that Jesus Christ is preeminent is if she is joyfully
fulfilling her God-given role in the home.

- now, there's no question that, generally speaking, this is not a
popular topic today.
- let's work together on why this may be true:

I. Why This Is An Unpopular Topic Today

A. Submission, in general, is often frowned upon today.

- in the letter we sent you this week about today's lesson, we
asked to study four questions.
- if you're relatively new to your study of the Scripture on this
topic, you may have been surprised that we would ask those
four questions about a lesson on the submission of wives to
their husbands...
- because the four questions we asked we're just about
women and wives...but about all of us.

- Isa. 53:6 - "All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned
everyone to his own way..."

- we purposely asked those questions to point out that submission is not
just a woman's issue....it's not just a woman's problem.
- every person struggles with authority--especially the imperfect
human authority that we all live under...

- a government that is imperfect at every level
- bosses that are imperfect
- spiritual authority that is imperfect

- let me ask you to turn over to the companion text in Eph. 5 to see
why this is such an important issue.
- read 5:18-21

- submission is an issue that every believer in Jesus Christ has to
face, and wrestle with
- and in our day and age, submission is often plain frowned upon.

INPUT - What are some opposites, or substitutes for biblical submission?
In other words, if a person is not being biblically submissive,
what might they be instead?

- we need to make this point because when some husbands hear the word
submission, they automatically think of their wives...
- when the truth is -- biblically a man ought to first think of
himself.
- if a man has not growing in submission to the authority God has
placed in his life, he shouldn't be surprised that his wife is
following his bad example.

- if he comes home every day griping about his boss
- looks for every opportunity to criticize the government and
speak disparagingly about them
- cheats on his taxes
- violates civil law
- has no place for submission to spiritual authority or the
authority of God

- he shouldn't be surprised that his wife follows that
example in her relationship to him.

- now, that’s not a condescending statement towards wives--as
if they blindly follow what their husbands do--but the
truth is
- some wives have never seen biblical submission in
action
- they didn't grow up around it
- they don't see it in the workplace today
- unfortunately, they don't even see it at home.

B. Many say - "Roles are unimportant."

- I was recently in a gas station which had a big poster
advertising cigarettes
- there was a couple - apparently happy, well-adjusted
- both smoking cigarettes
- bold heading was - "who cares who wears the pants?"

- what that has to do with a person smoking cigarettes escapes me
- but that approach to the issue of husband/wife roles is very
prevalent
- who cares?
- it doesn't matter
- don't get so uptight about that

- INPUT - Your reaction to that point if view? (that roles don't matter)

1) just wait till there's a disagreement!
2) God said roles do matter.

C. Many say - "Paul was just a woman hater."

- some believe that Paul was a hopeless bachelor that just
didn't like women
- maybe he had been married at one time since only married
men were admitted to the Sanhedrin
- or maybe they made an exception for him.

- but at this point of his life -- he hated women and couldn't
possibly speak truth that you and I should live by today.

- there's some real problems with that view:

1) these aren't Paul's words-they're God's

II Peter 1:20-21, Matt. 5:18

2) Paul demonstrated a very high view of women in his
writings
- commended women, had many women co-workers and friends
- told husbands to sacrificially love their wives

D. Many say - "You can't build a doctrine on one verse of Scripture."

- even if this was the only verse on the subject--we would still
have to deal with what it says (using right principles of
Bible study)

- but in this case – that’s not an issue - because there are
many, many verses on this subject.

- Eph. 5:22-24 - "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as unto the Lord..."

- I Cor. 11:3 - "...and the head of the woman is the man..."

- I Cor. 14:34-35 - "Let your women keep silence in the
churches, for it is not permitted unto them to speak, but
they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith
the law. And if they will learn anything, let them ask
their husbands at home..."

- Titus 2:4-5 - "That they may teach the young women to be
sober-minded, to love their husbands, to love their
children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be
not blasphemed."

- I Peter 3:1-6

- so we're not talking about a concept that is only mentioned once or
twice in the Scripture.
- the issue isn't how clearly or how often the doctrine is taught
- the issue is -- Is Jesus Christ so preeminent that I want to live
like Him, and in obedience to Him, no matter what.

E. Many say "Paul was speaking culturally."

1) Paul's teaching was based on doctrine, not culture.

- there are two doctrinal issues that Paul often returns to
when discussing this subject.

- INPUT - what are they?

a. order of creation - I Tim. 2:13

b. nature of the fall - I Tim. 2:14

- the point is that culture does change
(we don't greet each other with a holy kiss, today)
(the ladies in our church don't wear veils, today)

- but the subject of submission of a wife to her husband is
rooted in doctrine---not culture.
- doctrine does not change
- we dare not, regardless of what our culture is doing,
change//alter doctrinal truth.

2) Does that mean Col. 3:19 is cultural?

- If a person argues that one part of a passage is cultural,
then they need to be prepared to make that concession about
the entire passage.
- would anyone want to say that about 3:19?
- about 3:20-21? etc?

- of course not -- then why Col. 3:18? (because at this
particular time in history, 3:18 is especially offensive to
our culture. Who's to say that it won't be one of the
other issues in the passage in years ahead?)
(once you start cutting - where do you stop?)

F. Many say, "Then, God must want women to be unhappy and
unfulfilled."

- that is not at all the picture that God gives us concerning
women in the Scripture.

- in fact, the picture is just the opposite...
- women who are happy, busy, effective, productive,
important, etc.

- INPUT - Examples?

- the Proverbs 31 woman
- the wife and mother of Psalm 128 - the fruitful vine
- what a compliment!

- the overall point we're making is that this is not a popular topic
today.
- but as you take each argument out and honestly evaluate it, they
fall by the wayside.

- as Isaiah said, "the grass withers, the flower fades, but the Word
of our God shall stand forever." (40:8)

- now let's do some work specifically on the verse:

II. What Biblical Submission (in a marriage) Is

A. Meaning of the term

1. military term - "line up under"

- just like the military, there's the recognition that not
everyone can be in charge.
- not everyone can have the final say.

- Pastor often uses the phrase - "someone has to have the
axe over his neck."

- so in marriage, submission is a divine plan for function
and order

2. done willingly--to oneself

- this passage doesn't say - "husbands, make your wives
submit."
- that’s not the biblical picture at all.

- the biblical picture is -- the husband willingly, and
joyfully submits to all the authority in his life
- and the wife does the same.

- it's voluntary, "self-imposed", something done
willingly

B. From the other words in the verse

- studying the way this command is given helps us understand
biblical submission.

1) to your husband

- it's not at all true that all women have to submit to all
men.
- Paul says - I'm talking about your relationship to your
husband -- the one you married
- the one person that you're closest to in all the world

2) as is fitting in the Lord

- Paul says this is appropriate behavior for those who are
saved, for those who are living in the Lord.

- when a wife chooses to live this way--it's right, it's
fitting, it's appropriate, it's proper.

C. What it's not.

- perhaps one of the reasons that this subject is unpopular is
because it has been widely misunderstood.

- sometimes it has not been taught carefully and biblically
- sometimes husbands have misused this truth (which is a very wicked
thing to do)

1. that the wife is inferior.

INPUT - how do we know that’as not the case?

- Jesus was submissive to his parents - Luke 2:51

- Christ is submissive to the Father - John 5:30

2. that the husband is always right

cf. Rom. 13:1 - illustration of government

3. that the wife does not use her abilities, gifts, etc.

- in fact, that exactly the opposite of the biblical picture

- cf. I Tim. 3:4 - one that manages his own household well

- the biblical picture is that the wise husband recognizes his
wife's gifts and abilities
- cf. Jay - CLH - p. 82 ff.

4. that submission will squash freedom

- you and I are most free when we are joyfully and aggressively
living within the roles God has given us.

- cf. the music illustration.

5. that the wife never expresses an opinion, gives advice, etc.

- Eph. 4:15, 25, 29 are written to her, too.

6. that the wife always submits

- Acts 5:29

- so the bottom line is:
- we need to define this subject carefully
- we need to be sure we talk about what submission isn't

- but when that important work is done...
- the point is still the point

- if a wife wants to show that Jesus Christ is preeminent in her
heart and life, then she can do so by joyfully submitting
herself to her husband.

- let's think about how this can work itself out in the average home
represented here today:

INPUT - What things might a wife do to show she wants to joyfully
submit to her husband, and what things might a wife do to show
she doesn't?

- INPUT - what question should every wife be asking this morning?

- INPUT - what question should every husband be asking?

- let's conclude our time by studying:

III. Why This Is Possible

- I realize that you may be here this morning and would say, PV, what
you're talking about this morning is hard---for a bunch of reasons.

- I'm not sure I like it!
- I'm not sure I feel like doing it
- I've not seen it done much
- in a number of ways, I'm not doing it
- habits are hard to break

(this outline is from William Hendriksen)

A. Jesus Christ provides the power

- throughout history, other philosophers have talked about how
husbands and wives should live together.
- but as William Hendriksen says, their teachings are like trains
lacking engines.

- ideas, in and of themselves--will not produce results (cf.
the statement- after it's all said and done, there's a
lot more said than done.)

- Phil. 4:13, Titus 2:11

B. Jesus Christ provides the purpose

- we're not talking about living this way so life will be better
- or because the marriage will be smoother
- or there will be less problems

- we're talking about glorifying God (3:17)
- we're talking about the importance of being a good picture
of Christ and the church.

C. Jesus Christ provides the pattern

- in this verse, and each of the succeeding ones about
relationships in the family, our Savior provided the perfect
example to follow.

- a wife can be submissive because she has a Savior who was, and
is submissive.