God's Kind of Wife

June 4, 2005

1.  We’re continuing our new series that dove tails with the Worship Service theme of Embracing the Adventure of a Growing Family
2.  We’ve titled this new series: Complete Makeovers: Case Studies of Embracing the Adventure of a Growing Family – the plan of attack is something like this:
1)  To review (or prepare ourselves – depending on which ABF you attend) the worship service message
2)  To read a Case Study that communicates those biblical concepts (positively or negatively)
3)  Work through specific applications of those truths to that specific life-situation – [we can do this in small groups or as a class – probably a little of both]
4)  Bring other passages of scripture (truth about God, man, etc.) that will further help us to be ‘doers of the Word and not hearers only’
3.  Today: The Complete Makeover deals with God’s Kind of Wife
[Review the Sermon Notes for the Worship Service – major points]
Introduction:
1.  God not only tells us what to do in His Word . . . Jesus came to this earth and set an example for how we should live our lives for the glory of God!
• Philippians 2:5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus . . .
- Jesus modeled how to serve – to deny Himself – to show love to others
2.  Any wife (or husband) can find the virtue of their position in the person/work of Jesus Christ!
Point: God not only TELLS us what to do, He SHOWS us what to do!
3.  The title of our study this morning is: God’s Kind of Wife [next week: God’s Kind of Husband]
- Peter is writing to a group of believers who were enduring the persecution of Nero – the Roman emperor who hated Christians – and blamed them for the burning of Rome
Q: Why is this context so important? 
A: It makes what Peter is about to say more understandable in the context of the life of Christ
[READ 1 Peter 2:18-3:6] – *  Peter presents four truths about God’s Kind of Wife:
1.  Patterns Her Life After the Example of Christ – 2:21-25
- Even though we are called to salvation in Jesus Christ, at times, we are also called upon to endure unfair treatment on behalf of Christ – just as he endured what He did for us!
- notice what the passage says about the life of Christ:
A.  He was full of truth – v. 22
- both His life and His Words demonstrated His holiness (perfection)
B.  He entrusted Himself to the Father – v. 23
- He didn’t return evil for evil – He didn’t respond with revenge to those who did these things to him –  instead, Jesus ‘committed Himself to Him who judges righteously’
Entrust = to commit or hand over
- the point is that when she is being treated wrongly – she can pattern her response after the life of Christ
C.  He lived and died to help others – v. 24
- this verse is all about sacrifice – the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus paid on the cross
D.  He watches out for us – v. 25
- the title of “Shepherd” is one that is used frequently to describe our God
• John 10:14 "I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me.”
- Guardian (synonym for the word usually translated ‘bishop’ or ‘overseer’)
Q: How does this apply to the wife?
- as Jesus cares for us and helps us – likewise, the wife can learn from His servant’s heart and minister effectively to her husband and family!
2.  Obeys the Commands of God– 3:1-2
A.  The command to be submissive – 3:1
 Submit = to place oneself in rank under (military term)
* Peter is not emphasizing the RIGHTS of each partner in the marriage – but rather the RESPONSIBILITIES of each partner in their relationship to each other!
B.  The impact of her obedience – 3:1a-2
- if a godly wife will chose to live this way:  Her husband can literally be ‘won to Christ without a word’
3.  Focuses on the Inner Man – 3:3-4
- the issue with a believer seeking to bring glory to God is not the OUTER MAN, but the INNERMAN – the heart (true in the life of Christ and His public ministry – cf. Matt. 5,6,7)
4.  Learns the Lesson From Others – 3:5-6 -- Example: Sarah obeying Abraham
+ as a NT believer, you can learn from the Body of Christ – other godly women trying to bring glory to God as they fulfill there role as a wife


Case Study #4: God’s Kind of Wife – Teacher Notes

Dirk and Peg have had many arguments because of faults Peg sees in Dirk.  For one thing, the way he handles money is a big problem to her.  He seems to be so slow about spending money for large items.  It seemed to her like it took him forever to make up his mind when they were buying new living room furniture.  She was ready to buy the first set she saw on sale.  He went to 3 or 4 stores comparing the quality and prices.  She kept pushing him for a decision before the sale ended.  Sure enough, when he had made up his mind the sale was over.  The set he found was much better and cost about ¼ more than the set she saw on sale.  She was furious.  So, when he asked her advice about the features on a coffee maker he saw while looking for the furniture, she just ignored him.  She knew he needed her advice on this, but since he had ignored her advice on the patio furniture, she was certainly not going to give it now. 

Peg finds herself more and more thinking about ways she wishes he would change.  At times, she even allows things to come out of her mouth that are very critical of Dirk and his leadership.  Looking for special ways to show love to him are not really on her mind very much.  She is getting more and more caught up in what she likes to do and is beginning to ignore his requests for her to get certain things done.

Another area of difference that frustrates Peg is in the area of discipline of their children.  Dirk is very concerned that the children learn to make good decisions.  To accomplish this, he allows them to make mistakes without getting upset.  Again, Peg sees this as a big problem.  She thinks his slowness to respond amounts to permissiveness and that he is not teaching the children any standards.

They have been very faithful in church; they participate in church activities; they get involved in small group discussions and are excited about all the activities of the church.  They were recently asked to be involved in leading one of the children’s programs on Wednesday night.

1. What good qualities to you see in Dirk?
• Careful in spending money
• Looks at how he spends the money
• Has a correct concern for the children
• Is willing to ask advice on where he needs it

2. What keeps Peg from seeing them?
• She doesn’t understand her role as his wife.
• She is too busy trying to get things her way
• She is too willing to look at his faults rather than his good qualities
• She may think she is smarter than him

3. What seems to be her view of marriage?
• She is to be the leader.
• He should do things her way.
• My intelligence should guide our decisions
4. How can Peg contribute as a completer without taking over the leadership?
• Recognize the differences are not to be seen as adversarial but as complimentary.
• Complement him on his good qualities and suggest they discuss their differences.
• Change her view of her differences from being the standard to being a help.
• Rather than getting upset with him accept the differences as something to help her grow spiritually.

5. What principles from 1 Peter 3:2-6 will help her make these changes?
• She needs to learn the impact her right response to her husband can have on her family.
• She needs to focus on what is going on in her heart, the inner person.
• She needs to observe Sara’s response to Abraham.

6. With their faithfulness to the church would it be good for them to be Children’s Ministry leaders  ?  Why?  Why not?
• No because she will be upset with his leadership there.
• If this happens during their leadership it will produce problems.
• Her view of being a helper to him is not strong enough for this position.
• She doesn’t see how her view will be a wrong model of Christ serving, denying self, and showing love to others especially her husband.

7. What would be some questions the church leaders should ask that might uncover the problems?
• How do you two handle differences?
• On what issues do you have major disagreements
• When you reach an impasse, how do you solve it?

8. If these habits are not changed what are some possible outcomes for this marriage?
• He becomes more passive
Or become a dictator to help himself.
• She becomes more and more bitter.
She pushes to take over the decision-making.

9. How do the principles from the message on the wife provide hope for her?
• She can learn a much more satisfying and happy life by following the example of Christ and Sara.
• Obedience to God is more beneficial than trying to get life to be her way.
• Others


Case Study #4: God’s Kind of Wife

Dirk and Peg have had many arguments because of faults Peg sees in Dirk.  For one thing, the way he handles money is a big problem to her.  He seems to be so slow about spending money for large items.  It seemed to her like it took him forever to make up his mind when they were buying new living room furniture.  She was ready to buy the first set she saw on sale.  He went to 3 or 4 stores comparing the quality and prices.  She kept pushing him for a decision before the sale ended.  Sure enough, when he had made up his mind the sale was over.  The set he found was much better and cost about ¼ more than the set she saw on sale.  She was furious.  So, when he asked her advice about the features on a coffee maker he saw while looking for the furniture, she just ignored him.  She knew he needed her advice on this, but since he had ignored her advice on the patio furniture, she was certainly not going to give it now. 

Peg finds herself more and more thinking about ways she wishes he would change.  At times, she even allows things to come out of her mouth that are very critical of Dirk and his leadership.  Looking for special ways to show love to him are not really on her mind very much.  She is getting more and more caught up in what she likes to do and is beginning to ignore his requests for her to get certain things done.

Another area of difference that frustrates Peg is in the area of discipline of their children.  Dirk is very concerned that the children learn to make good decisions.  To accomplish this, he allows them to make mistakes without getting upset.  Again, Peg sees this as a big problem.  She thinks his slowness to respond amounts to permissiveness and that he is not teaching the children any standards.

They have been very faithful in church; they participate in church activities; they get involved in small group discussions and are excited about all the activities of the church.  They were recently asked to be involved in leading one of the children’s programs on Wednesday night.

1. What good qualities to you see in Dirk?

 


2. What keeps Peg from seeing them?

 


3. What seems to be her view of marriage?

 


4. How can Peg contribute as a completer without taking over the leadership?

 

 


5. What principles from 1 Peter 3:2-6 will help her make these changes?

 

 


6. With their faithfulness to the church would it be good for them to be Children’s Ministry  leaders?  Why?  Why not?

 

7. What would be some questions the church leaders should ask that might uncover the problems?

 

8. If these habits are not changed what are some possible outcomes for this marriage?

 

9. How do the principles from the message on the wife provide hope for her?



Study Guide
ABF Series: Complete Makeovers
CASE STUDY #4:  God’s Kind of Wife

- Case Studies of Embracing the Adventure of a Growing Family:
1)  To review (or prepare ourselves) for the worship service message
2)  To read a Case Study that communicates those biblical concepts (positively or negatively)
3)  Work through specific applications of those truths to that specific life-situation –
4)  Bring other passages of scripture (truth about God, man, etc.) that will further help us to be ‘doers of the Word and not hearers only’
Introduction:
*  Jesus came to this earth and set an example for how we should live our lives for the glory of God!
• Philippians 2:5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus . . .
*  Peter presents four truths about God’s Kind of Wife:
1.  Patterns Her Life After the ___________ of ___________ – 2:21-25
A.  He was full of ___________ – v. 22

B.  He _______________ Himself to the Father – v. 23
Entrust = to commit or hand over

C.  He lived and died to __________ ______________ – v. 24

D.  He __________ ________ for us – v. 25
• John 10:14 "I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me.”
2.  Obeys the Commands of God– 3:1-2
A.  The command to be __________ – 3:1
 Submit = to place oneself in rank under (military term)
* Peter is not emphasizing the __________ of each partner in the marriage – but rather the __________________ of each partner in their relationship to each other!

B.  The _________ of her obedience – 3:1a-2

3.  Focuses on the Inner Man – 3:3-4

4.  Learns the Lesson from Others – 3:5-6 -- Example:


ABF Series: Complete Makeovers
CASE STUDY #4
God’s Kind of Wife
- Case Studies of Embracing the Adventure of a Growing Family:
1)  To review (or prepare ourselves) for the worship service message
2)  To read a Case Study that communicates those biblical concepts (positively or negatively)
3)  Work through specific applications of those truths to that specific life-situation –
4)  Bring other passages of scripture (truth about God, man, etc.) that will further help us to be ‘doers of the Word and not hearers only’
Introduction:
* Jesus came to this earth and set an example for how we should live our lives for the glory of God!
• Philippians 2:5
*  Peter presents four truths about God’s Kind of Wife:
1.  Patterns Her Life After the Example of Christ – 2:21-25
A.  He was full of truth – v. 22
B.  He entrusted Himself to the Father – v. 23
Entrust = to commit or hand over
C.  He lived and died to help others – v. 24
D.  He watches out for us – v. 25
• John 10:14
2.  Obeys the Commands of God– 3:1-2
A.  The command to be submissive – 3:1
 Submit = to place oneself in rank under (military term)
* Peter is not emphasizing the RIGHTS of each partner in the marriage – but rather the RESPONSIBILITIES of each partner in their relationship to each other!


B.  The impact of her obedience – 3:1a-2
3.  Focuses on the Inner Man – 3:3-4
4.  Learns the Lesson From Others – 3:5-6 Example: Sarah obeying Abraham