Is This Really Worth Fighting Over?

September 9, 2006

CONNECTING with my Lord
Specifically how has my Lord exhibited graciousness and gentleness to me in my salvation?  List any verses to support your answer.

[various answers: He was patient during the process; He could have ended my life a long time ago, but showed grace!]
[various passages will be given – cf. Psalm 40:1-3]

Specifically how does my Lord exhibit graciousness and gentleness toward me when I have sinful attitudes and behaviors as a saved follower of Christ?  List any verses to support your answer.

[various answers – could discuss how progressive sanctification fits into the process of resolving problems – the need and process of growth and using God’s Word to guide us through problem solving]
CONNECTING into my Life
Looking back on the past month or two, how have I handled conflicts w/ my spouse, co-workers, children, or other believers? Would a gracious and gentle attitude describe me?  Specifically, why or why not?
[various answers]
Do I need to seek God and other’s forgiveness for not handling conflict(s) biblically?  If so, who, why, and when?
[may not answer this Q publicly – but challenge them to fulfill their biblical responsibility and try to resolve the problem as in 1 John 1.]
What is one specific and practical step that I can take to be more gracious and gentle in the next conflicts that I experience?
[specifically in what you are THINKING and what you need to do]

CONNECTING into my Church!

Prayer Time: Pray for our church and ABF to be Peacemakers!


Is This Really Worth Fighting Over?
A gracious, gentle attitude can prevent most conflicts.

1. Two kinds of logs to remove:

a. A critical, negative ATTITUDE that leads to unnecessary conflict.


b. Actual sinful WORDS or ACTIONS


2.  God calls us to OVERLOOK minor offenses.
 Proverbs 19:11 A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.

o Why we should overlook minor offenses:  To IMITATE the Lord (cf. Psalm 103:8-10)

o When you should overlook minor offenses:
o If the offense is not dishonoring God.
o If your relationship has not been permanently damaged.
o If others are not being hurt.

3.  Check your ATTITUDE – and if necessary, change it (Phil. 4:4-9)
Note the context:  Conflict – 4:2
o REJOICE in the Lord always.     (v4)
o Let your GENTLENESS be evident to all.   (v5)
o REPLACE anxiety with prayer.     (v6-7)
* Note the Psalms – Israel focusing on the power of God!!
o See things as they REALLY ARE!      (v8)
* Don’t allow Satan to distract you from focusing on the truth!
o PRACTICE what you’ve learned.    (v9)
* Consider the result of your obedience!
o Count the COST of your time and effort.   (Matthew 5:25-26)
END OF DVD – Open Discussion/Small Groups


CONNECTING  IT! – GROUP DISCUSSION
Which principles presented were most helpful to you, and why would you give that answer?

[various answers]


What might be going on in the heart of a person who does not respond with graciousness and gentleness?  What must a person do to change the way he/she is thinking? What might a person be wanting so badly at that time they would sin to get it?

- Pride, self-righteousness – I’m not wrong, the other person is!
- Eph. 4:23 – STOP the sinful thoughts, and REPLACE them with biblical thinking!
- Satisfaction that things went their way, approval of man, etc.


CONNECTING to the Word – Small Groups
 Read Matthew 5:21-26 and 18:15-20 and answer the following questions:
• What do these passages tell about God’s pattern for resolving conflicts?  Diagram or outline the process:

Matthew 5:
 Failure to solve problems hinders our worship!
 If you know you’ve offend someone, you go to them (initiative)

Matthew 18:
 Keep the circle of knowledge as small as possible
 Solving problems takes one step at a time
 It a process . . . not a one time act
 People don’t always respond the way you want them to!



What do these passages tell about the attitude(s) that are foundational to the pattern for resolving conflicts?

 Willingness to take care of your part of the problem (humility)
 Fear of God – not trying to worship when sin is in one’s life (i.e. an unresolved problem and you are aware of it, but do nothing!)
 Honesty – i.e. go and tell him his fault – speak the truth!
 Hope – giving that person the benefit of the doubt or thinking the best about them – i.e. that the problem will be resolved
 Respect for God’s Word – tell him his ‘fault’ – this HAS to be a clear sin issue, not a preference!

What actions/attitudes are confirmed/added to this topic of resolving or preventing conflicts from Matthew 7:1-6?

 You have to get the log out of your eye FIRST – then proceed.
 The reality of hypocrisy if this is not done!
 How you respond can make a great impact on someone else

What actions/attitudes are confirmed/added to this topic of resolving or preventing conflicts from Matthew 18:21-35?
 Expect problems to occur (v. 21)
 Attitude of forgiveness
 Reasonableness
 There can be severe consequences for those who don’t forgive
 The fear of God (v. 35) needs to be factored into your attitude!

What actions/attitudes are confirmed/added to this topic of resolving or preventing conflicts from Galatians 6:1-10?
 Necessity of the problem being a clear sin issue
 The spiritual condition of the one confronting (context of Gal. 5:16-23 – i.e. walking in the Spirit, not the flesh
 Humility – considering oneself
 Goal – restorations – mending the net, setting the bone!

 

CONNECTING with my Lord
Specifically how has my Lord exhibited graciousness and gentleness to me in my salvation?  List any verses to support your answer.

 

Specifically how does my Lord exhibit graciousness and gentleness toward me when I have sinful attitudes and behaviors as a saved follower of Christ?  List any verses to support your answer.

 

CONNECTING into my Life
Looking back on the past month or two, how have I handled conflicts w/ my spouse, co-workers, children, or other believers? Would a gracious and gentle attitude describe me?  Specifically, why or why not?

 

Do I need to seek God and other’s forgiveness for not handling conflict(s) biblically?  If so, who, why, and when?


What is one specific and practical step that I can take to be more gracious and gentle in the next conflicts that I experience?


CONNECTING into my Church!

Prayer Time: Pray for our church, ABF, families, individuals, to be Peacemakers!


Is This Really Worth Fighting Over?
A gracious, gentle attitude can prevent most conflicts.

1. Two kinds of logs to remove:

a. A critical, negative _____________________ that leads to unnecessary conflict.


b. Actual sinful __________________ or ___________________

 

2.  God calls us to ______________________ minor offenses.
 Proverbs 19:11 A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.
a. Why?  To ______________ the Lord (Psalm 103:8-10)


b. When?
 If the offense is not dishonoring God.
 If your relationship has not been permanently damaged.
 If others are not being hurt.

3.  Check your ____________________ -- and change it (Phil. 4:4-9)
a. ____________________ in the Lord always.    (v4)
b. Let your ___________________ be evident to all.   (v5)
c. ____________________ anxiety with prayer.    (v6-7)
* Note the Psalms – Israel focusing on the power of God!!
d. See things as they ___________________.    (v8)
* Don’t allow Satan to distract you from focusing on the truth!
e. ____________________ what you’ve learned.    (v9)
* Consider the result of your obedience!
f. Count the ____________________.         (Matthew 5:25-26)


CONNECTING  IT! – GROUP DISCUSSION
Which principles presented were most helpful to you, and why would you give that answer?


What might be going on in the heart of a person who does not respond with graciousness and gentleness?  What must a person do to change the way he/she is thinking? What might a person be wanting so badly at that time they would sin to get it?

 


CONNECTING to the Word – Small Groups
 Read Matthew 5:21-26 and 18:15-20 and answer the following questions:
• What do these passages tell about God’s pattern for resolving conflicts?  Diagram or outline the process:

Matthew 5:

 

Matthew 18:



What do these passages tell about the attitude(s) that are foundational to the pattern for resolving conflicts?

 


What actions/attitudes are confirmed/added to this topic of resolving or preventing conflicts from Matthew 7:1-6?

 

What actions/attitudes are confirmed/added to this topic of resolving or preventing conflicts from Matthew 18:21-35?

 


What actions/attitudes are confirmed/added to this topic of resolving or preventing conflicts from Galatians 6:1-10?