Proverbs 5 - Avoiding Sexual Sin pt III

Dr. Steve Viars February 23, 2002 Proverbs 5:


- we're continuing on today in our study of avoiding sexual sin.
- I appreciate your helpful questions and interaction last Sunday, please don't ever hesitate to raise questions in class---they often provide excellent opportunities for learning.

- so far we've made four introductory points:


1. The genders could easily be reversed in this chapter.

2. Human sexuality was created by God and sexual relations within the bonds of marriage is holy and right.
Hebrews 13:4 - Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

3. God owns our bodies and we are accountable to Him for their use.
I Corinthians 6:12-20

4. The goal of human sexuality is to meet the needs of one's spouse.
I Corinthians 7:1-6

[recommend Doc's article again…]

- this morning we're going to make one more introductory point and then turn our attention to Proverbs 5.

5. Human sexuality is emphasized in the Ten Commandments.
Cf. Exodus 20:14 - You shall not commit adultery, 20:17 - You shall not covet your neighbor's wife.

- the point is --- even in a document where God summarized His ethical system in a series of ten commands--at least two of them directly touch on this topic.

- One writer said "Life is a game in which the rules are constantly changing. Nothing spoils a game more than those who take it seriously."

- INPUT - What is your response to this position?

Warren Wiersbe said - "It's true that some well-known people have indulged in sexual escapades and even bragged about it, including government officials, Hollywood stars, sports heroes, and (alas!) preachers, but that doesn't make it right. Sexual sin is one of the main themes of numerous movies, TV programs, novels, and short stories; yet popularity is no test of right and wrong. Many things that the law says are legal, the Bible says are evil, and there won't be a jury sitting at the White Throne Judgment (Rev. 20:11-15, 21:27, 22:15).

- we're going to divide these three chapters in this way…
- Chapter 5 - Sexual sin is eventually disappointing.
- Chapter 6 - Sexual sin is gradually destructive.
- Chapter 7 - Sexual sin is ultimately deadly.

- READ Proverbs 5

I. Sexual Sin is Eventually Disappointing.

Warren Wiersbe said – “When married people honor and respect sex as God instructs them in His Word, they can experience increasing enjoyment and enrichment in their intimacy. But when people break the rules, the result is just the opposite. They experience disappointment and disillusionment and have to search for larger ‘doses’ of sexual adventure in order to attain the imaginary pleasure level they’re seeking. God created sex not only for reproduction but also for enjoyment, and He didn’t put the ‘marriage wall’ around sex to rob us of pleasure but to increase pleasure and protect it.”

A. Their experience goes from sweetness to bitterness - vv. 1-6
- the word "strange" in this context means "not related to"
- we're talking about sexual relations outside the bounds of marriage
- we will see this term many more times in the book

- the emphasis of this first section of verses is that sexual sin starts out being very sweet---very exciting---very fulfilling, but the long-range effect is just the opposite ---- cf. the argument of verses 3-4

- Another way of saying this is the book of Proverbs encourages us to think about the long-term consequences of our actions…[INPUT - How is this different than our world?]
- it will never happen to me
- I can beat the odds
- I'm smarter than those who got caught
- I can stop this any time I want
- I deserve to be happy [or, _________]
- I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.
- this isn't my fault, if I had a better _________
- when the sweetness is gone, I'll get out before the bitterness starts

- cf. Deut. 32:29 - Would that they were wise, that they understood this, that they would discern their future!
- INPUT - ways to emphasize this with our children?

B. Their experience goes from gain to loss - vv. 7-14

- the emphasis in these verses takes a clear shift.
- the focus now is on the cost of sexual sin---the picture is of a husband who catches a man in sexual sin with his wife and who exacts a heavy toll.

- INPUT - What words in verses 7-14 emphasize the issue of "loss"?

- Warren Wiersbe says of this passage - When you read verses 9-14, you hear the words of a suffering sinner lamenting the high cost of disobeying God's laws, because the most expensive thing in the world is sin. He discovers that the woman's husband is a cruel man who demands that he pay for what he's done, so the adulterer ends up giving his strength to others and toiling away to pay his debt. Instead of luxury, the sinner has misery; instead of riches, poverty; instead of success, ruin; and instead of a good reputation, the name of an adulterer. He looks back and wishes he had listened to his parents and his spiritual instructors, but his wishes can't change his wretched situation. Yes, God in His grace will forgive his sins if he repents, but God in His government sees to it that he reaps what he sows.

- J. Alan Peterson makes this same point in his book - The Myth of the Greener Grass
- INPUT-in what ways might the person who does not heed these warnings experience this "loss"?
C. Their experience goes from purity to pollution - vv. 15-20
- these verses compare sexual relations in marriage to drinking fresh, pure water.
- the obvious comparison would be drinking water out of a polluted stream/sewer.
- [cf. how in a third world culture, this illustration would have been even more powerful.]

- Wiersbe - The commitment of marriage is like the banks of the river that keep the river from becoming a swamp. God's holy law confines the waters within the banks, and this produces power and depth. Extramarital and premarital affairs don't satisfy because they're shallow, and it doesn't take much to stir up shallow water. A man and woman pledged to each other in marriage can experience the growing satisfaction that comes with love, commitment, depth, and purity.

D. Their experience goes from freedom to bondage - vv. 21-23
- cf. v. 22 - bound by the cords of his own sin.

- discuss ways this might come true.

- cf. also the hope of I Corinthians 6:11

Dr. Steve Viars


Senior Pastor - Faith Church

Director - Faith Legacy Foundation


B.S.: Pre-Seminary & Bible, Baptist Bible College (Now Clarks Summit University)
M.Div.: Grace Theological Seminary
D.Min.: Biblical Counseling, Westminster Theological Seminary

Dr. Steve Viars has served at Faith Church in Lafayette, IN since 1987. Pastor Viars leads and equips Faith Church as Senior Pastor with a focus on preaching and teaching God’s Word and using his organizational skills in guiding the implementation of the Faith Church mission and vision. He oversees the staff, deacons, and all Faith Church ministries. Dr. Viars serves on the boards of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, Biblical Counseling Coalition, Vision of Hope, and the Faith Community Development Corporation. Steve is the author, co-author, or contributor to six books and numerous booklets. He and his wife, Kris, were married in 1982 and have two married daughters, a son, and five grandchildren.

Read Steve Viars’ Journey to Faith for the full account of how the Lord led Pastor Viars to Faith Church.

View Pastor Viars' Salvation Testimony Video