Proverbs 5 - Avoiding Sexual Sin pt IV

Dr. Steve Viars March 2, 2002 Proverbs 5:

- remember that our overall outline for this section of Scripture is…
- Chapter 5 - Sexual sin is eventually disappointing.
- Chapter 6 - Sexual sin is gradually destructive.
- Chapter 7 - Sexual sin is ultimately deadly.

- in your notes, we reproduced what we've discussed so far under this heading of avoiding sexual sin:

1.  The genders could easily be reversed in this chapter.

2.  Human sexuality was created by God and sexual relations within the bonds of marriage is holy and right.
Hebrews 13:4 - Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

3.  God owns our bodies and we are accountable to Him for their use.
I Corinthians 6:12-20

4.  The goal of human sexuality is to meet the needs of one's spouse.
I Corinthians 7:1-6

5.  Human sexuality is emphasized in the Ten Commandments.
Exodus 20:14, 17

I.  Sexual Sin is Eventually Disappointing.

A.  Their experience goes from sweetness to bitterness - vv. 1-6

B.  Their experience goes from gain to loss - vv. 7-14


- Read Proverbs chapter 5

- today we want to work on verses 15-23

C.  Their experience goes from purity to pollution - vv. 15-20
- these verses compare sexual relations in marriage to drinking fresh, pure water.
- the obvious comparison would be drinking water out of a polluted stream/sewer.
- [cf. how in a third world culture, this illustration would have been even more powerful.]

- in his study Bible, John MacArthur says this about these verses:
"Using the imagery of water, the joy of a faithful marriage is contrasted with the disaster of infidelity (vv. 9-14).  "Cistern" and "well" refer to the wife from whom the husband is to draw all his satisfying refreshment, sexually and affectionately."

- of course as we've said before, the genders could be reversed…but the point is, sexual relations within marriage is like drinking cold, pure, refreshing water, and sexual sin is like drinking out of a sewer.

- another way you could think about these verses that is very important is that God never gives us a "put off" without giving us a corresponding (and far superior) "put on".
- sometimes people think about Christianity as a negative religion…that it's all about the things you can't do anymore…
- that’s simply not true--of course there are things we must not do if Christ is the Lord, but that paves the way for putting on a lifestyle that is far more fulfilling, and refreshing…
- it would be very much like a person standing at an open sewer in a third world country, holding a bottle of cold, purified water and saying to someone, "don't drink that, instead drink this".
- no one in his or her right mind would accuse that person of being negative or needlessly restrictive.

- INPUT - How do we teach this mentality to our children? [that Christianity is not simply about the things we can't do?]

- Wiersbe - The commitment of marriage is like the banks of the river that keep the river from becoming a swamp.  God's holy law confines the waters within the banks, and this produces power and depth.  Extramarital and premarital affairs don't satisfy because they're shallow, and it doesn't take much to stir up shallow water.  A man and woman pledged to each other in marriage can experience the growing satisfaction that comes with love, commitment, depth, and purity.

- I have received several questions about what we're studying, and was encouraged to answer them in class, which I'm happy to do.

1.  What should I do if I am losing desire for sexual relations with my spouse?

INPUT - How would you answer that question?

- desire is "a motion of the will" [cf. Kittle's NT Dictionary], in other words, we choose what we want.

- the primary desire should be to please one's spouse, and that is a desire that should never go away.

- the issue of frequency should be openly discussed with one's spouse [cf. I Cor. 7]---as long as the issue is mutually agreed to, either by the frequency increasing or diminishing, there is not a problem.

- this person should communicate openly with the spouse.

2.  Trying to please my spouse has become a mechanical act at times.  Because my body is not my own, I give up my body to satisfy my spouse, yet sometimes it hurts physically.  Is hormone replacement the answer?

INPUT - How would you address those questions?

- I'm glad this person is willing to ask specific questions.
- We applaud the willingness to see this issue through a biblical grid of seeking to please the spouse, and seeing ones body as belonging to the Lord.
- actions are mechanical only if we let them be…generally speaking sexual problems are symptomatic of other more significant problems.
- This person should speak to her spouse…Eph. 4:15 [if she is unwilling or unable, this is a larger problem than anything else we've raised].
- the issues of pain and this being a "mechanical act" are very likely related.
- God has designed our bodies to be physically prepared for sexually relations that cannot be bypassed.
- the issue of pain should also be clearly discussed with the spouse
- see a gynecologist about the issue of hormone replacement--I'm told that some of the newer data on this topic is raising some additional questions about this area.
- of course pain is a relative term, but I can't take the position that I am unwilling to do anything that causes any level of pain [cf. getting up this morning]


3.  I feel guilt at times because I don't initiate sex.  How am I supposed to feel when I feel nothing physically?  If I tell my spouse, my spouse would be devastated.

INPUT - Your answers to these?

- Each spouse should initiate sexual relations.  While Proverbs 5 is addressed to a young man for reasons we already discussed, the principles apply to each gender.

- cf. the think/do/feel train.

- the last statement 'my spouse would be devastated" might be the most telling statement of all.

D.  Their experience goes from freedom to bondage - vv. 21-23
- cf. v. 22 - bound by the cords of his own sin.

- discuss ways this might come true.

- if time, study the Samson story - Judges 16

- cf. also the hope of I Corinthians 6:11









Dr. Steve Viars


Senior Pastor - Faith Church

Director - Faith Legacy Foundation


B.S.: Pre-Seminary & Bible, Baptist Bible College (Now Clarks Summit University)
M.Div.: Grace Theological Seminary
D.Min.: Biblical Counseling, Westminster Theological Seminary

Dr. Steve Viars has served at Faith Church in Lafayette, IN since 1987. Pastor Viars leads and equips Faith Church as Senior Pastor with a focus on preaching and teaching God’s Word and using his organizational skills in guiding the implementation of the Faith Church mission and vision. He oversees the staff, deacons, and all Faith Church ministries. Dr. Viars serves on the boards of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, Biblical Counseling Coalition, Vision of Hope, and the Faith Community Development Corporation. Steve is the author, co-author, or contributor to six books and numerous booklets. He and his wife, Kris, were married in 1982 and have two married daughters, a son, and three grandchildren.

Read Steve Viars’ Journey to Faith for the full account of how the Lord led Pastor Viars to Faith Church.

View Pastor Viars' Salvation Testimony Video