Godly Speech

Bev Moore October 28, 2016

This is the fourth class ("Godly Speech") in the second series of classes of the Women’s Foundation Series.

This series is geared toward women and will discuss how prioritizing, scheduling, time management, thought life, personal dress, speech and purity relate to our walk with God.

 

I. Welcome

II.  Review

III.  Learning About Godly Speech In Scripture

A. We possess a lot of ____________________  in our speech. 

Matthew 15:18-19 But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.

B.  Scripture teaches about the importance of paying ____________________  to our speech.

James 3:1-11 4 Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. 5 So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.  See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. 7 For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. 8 But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. 11 Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh.

C.  The great news is that it is possible for our speech to ____________________  God.

Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

D.  God has a lot to say about how we should ____________________  communication.  

James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

Proverbs 12:18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Psalm 141:3 Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!

Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

Proverbs 21:23 Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Prov 19:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,

E. A common theme is that we are to be ____________________  in our speech.

James 1:26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

2 Timothy 2:16 But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness,

Matthew 5:37 Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.  (This speaks about the important of not making big promises and pledges, but simply following through with what you say you will do.)

Ecclesiastes 3:7 …A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

F.  It is even possible to help ____________________  tense and hostile situations by how we handle our end of the conversations.

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

G.  We should carefully craft our end of the conversation so that our words are a ____________________  to the people who hear them. 

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Proverbs 16:23 The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips.

Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

Eph 4:15-16 15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Eph 4 – Four Rules of Communication 1.  Be Honest  2.  Keep Current  3.  Act, Don’t React   4.  Attack the problem, not the person

H.  We are commanded to follow Jesus’s example of speech, especially in how we respond verbally when we are ____________________  .

I Peter 2:21-23 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

I.  One day we will be held accountable for ________________ word we speak, including all the careless ones.

Matthew 12:36-37 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

J.  The foolish woman of Proverbs 7 is especially noted for the way she ____________________  others to sin and commits sin herself by using her speech in wicked ways. 

K.  Application Questions

IV.  Speech Self Evaluation

A..  Tonight we’re going to take a couple minutes to complete a personal self-evaluation of our speech

B. Application Questions

V.  Characteristics of Godly Speech

A.  Beyond the instruction of ways that we are not to use our mouths there are many commands regarding how we ARE to speak.

____________________  and Justice Psalm 37:30 The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just.

Judicious - Psalm 39:1 I said, "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence."

Problem ____________________  – Matt 18:15 “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.

Praising God - Psalm 40:10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly.

Full of God’s Word - Psalm 119:172 May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous. 

Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

____________________  Proverbs 10:21 The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.

Appropriate for the situation - Proverbs 10:32 The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse.

Understanding and trustworthy - Proverbs 11:12-13 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

____________________  Proverbs 12:22 The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.

Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head

Ephesians 4:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Kind - Proverbs 12:25 An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.

____________________  Proverbs 15:1-2 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.

Pleasant  - Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Discerning and helpful - Proverbs 16:21 The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.

Self-Controlled - Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

____________________  Proverbs 22:11 He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.

Colossians 4:6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Beneficial - Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Encouraging and Edifying - 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Titus 2:3-5 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

____________________  and peacemaking - 1 Peter 3:9-11 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.

Courteous and Not Quarrelsome - Titus 3:2 to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.

B.  Application Questions

VI. Listening

A.  As important as it is to speak Biblically, it is also equally important to listen Biblically.

1. Be ____________________  to speak but quick to listen – James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

2. Listen completely ____________________  speaking  Prov 18:13 If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

3. Do not listen only to ____________________  person’s side of the story when solving problems - Prov 18:17 The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.

4.  Listen to ____________________  and accept teaching and correction.  - Prov 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.

5.  Train your ears to be quick and ____________________  to listen to the right things. - Prov 2:2 Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding;

6.  Pay attention to ____________________  you listen (half-heartedly, skeptically, engaged, etc) Mark 4:24 24 And He was saying to them, “Take care what you listen to…

B. Listening to someone else sinning is just as wrong as speaking sinfully yourself.

1. Listening to ____________________  Prov 11:13 Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.

2. Listening to ____________________  - Proverbs 26:20 Proverbs 26:20 Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.

Prov 18:8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.

3.  Listening to general ____________________  - Proverbs 17:4 An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue.

C. Application Questions  

VII. Questions

VIII.  Recommendations for Further Study

Can We Talk? By Rob Green

Communication and Conflict Resolution by Stuart Scott

Conversation Peace by Mary Kassian

Everyday Talk by John A Yountis

Four Rules of Communication DVD Training Set by Faith Church Leaders

Girl Talk by Carolyn by Mahaney and Nicole  Mahaney Whitacre

The Peace Maker Book Series by Ken Sande

Pursuing Peace by Robert D. Jones

Seven Words To Change Your Family by James MacDonald

A Thirst For Wholeness by Jay E. Adams

War of Words by Paul David Tripp

Words That Hurt, Words That Heal by Carole Mayhall

Your Family God’s Way by Wayne A. Mack

 

Bev Moore

Beverly serves as a Biblical Counselor for the Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries.