Purity

Bev Moore November 3, 2016

This is the fifth class ("Purity") in the second series of classes of the Women’s Foundation Series.

This series is geared toward women and will discuss how prioritizing, scheduling, time management, thought life, personal dress, speech and purity relate to our walk with God.

 

I. Welcome

II.  Review

III.  Purity Defined

A.  The word for purity used in 1Thess 4:7 means ____________________ from stain or shame and physical, religious and moral cleanness. 

Titus 2:3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.

B.  Purity is a matter of the ____________________.

Psalm 101:1 {A Psalm of David.} I will sing of lovingkindness and justice, To Thee, O LORD, I will sing praises. 2 I will give heed to the blameless way. When wilt Thou come to me? I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart. 3 I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not fasten its grip on me. 4 A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will know no evil. 5 Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy; No one who has a haughty look and an arrogant heart will I endure. 6 My eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me; He who walks in a blameless way is the one who will minister to me. 7 He who practices deceit shall not dwell within my house; He who speaks falsehood shall not maintain his position before me. 8 Every morning I will destroy all the wicked of the land, So as to cut off from the city of the LORD all those who do iniquity.

C.  Several times God says that he desires his followers to come into his presence with “_________________ hands and a pure heart.” 

Psalm 24:3,4 Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD? And who may stand in His holy place? 4He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood and has not sworn deceitfully.

1 Thessalonians 4:7 For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification.

Eph 5:3-4 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

D.  We must be ____________________ our minds with God’s Word.

Romans 12:1 I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.


IV.  Becoming Impure

A.  ____________________ something that displeases God does not make me impure. 

Titus 1:15 To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.

B.  I can’t always control what I see, but I can and must control my ____________________ to the things I see.  

C.  I become impure when I ____________________ to the enticement or temptation and make the decision to follow my lust. 

James 1:14 But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. 15 Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

I Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

V.  Restoring Purity

A.  Purity is restored with ____________________, initially beginning at salvation.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God.

B.  After salvation, we are cleansed through ____________________ and repentance to God the Father.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

C.  Being cleansed from ALL unrighteousness includes cleansing us from impurity and ___________________ our purity!

2 Cor 5:21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

VI.  Our Response to Impurity

A.  God says that we should actively ____________________ from impurity, not purposely exposing ourselves to it or seeing how much we can handle.

I Cor 6:18-20 18 Flee immorality (sexual impurity). Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20 For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

2 Timothy 2: 22 Now flee from youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

B.  We must view ____________________ sin as God does. 

Proverbs 14:9 Fools mock at sin, But among the upright there is good will.

C.  We ought to be very concerned that there seems to be a lack of ____________________ in this area.  

Proverbs 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.

D. In addition to viewing our sin as God does, we must be developing a ____________________ heart in this area.

Proverbs 27:12 The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.

E.  Let’s read Romans 14:23 – otherwise known as the “____________________ principle”. 

Romans 14:23 But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin.

F.  We are going to be held ____________________ for all of the decisions made while in these mortal bodies. 

II Cor 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

G.  Application Questions

VII.  Coveting vs. Contentment

A. We see the same focus on purity in the Old Testament.

Matthew 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; 28 but I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.

B.  This verse teaches that ____________________ (lusting after) your neighbor’s wife (or anything of your neighbor’s!) was a sin and lead to impurity! 

Exodus 20:17 "You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

C.  The opposite of coveting is ____________________. 

1 Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. 7 For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification.

D.  Additionally, God commands us to ____________________ our bodies (I Thess 4:4,5).

VIII.  Defrauding

A.  We are commanded here (and in the Thess. passage) not to ____________________ passion in another who is not our spouse. 

I Corinthians 6:8 But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers!

1 Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.

B.  Do I pride myself on my ability to be ____________________ impurity and remain pure? 

James 4:6 “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

IX.  Recommendations For Helping Us Guard Our Purity

A.  Some people who look at Christians trying to remain pure and think that they are being ______________.

B.  In other cases, many married believers have adopted ____________________ that may seem extreme to unbelievers. 

C. Use personal purity standards as a ____________________ for personal holiness, but don’t expect all other Christians to hold the same standards unless the standard is clearly commanded in Scripture. 

Remember, that Scripture often encourages us to be hard on ourselves and gracious with others. 

  1. Regarding ____________________:
  • Decide ahead of time what you will and won’t expose yourself to, and commit it to writing.  Will you watch rated R movies?  Will you listen to any secular music?  If not, why?  If so, why?  What kinds of magazines / books will you read?
  • Share your decisions about entertainment with others who can encourage you and hold you accountable.
  • Eliminate potential sources of impurity.  Should you have a TV in your bedroom?  Should you allow yourself access to the internet when you are alone?
  • Determine to avoid any impurity on the Internet and have someone check your history intermittently for accountability. 
  • Be willing to set up sources of accountability, but don’t depend upon them to keep you pure.  Your accountability partner is not responsible for your purity.  You are!  Take ownership.
  1. Regarding ____________________:
  • If you are single, or have a single daughter, or work with single women, I strongly encourage you to get purity standards down in writing for yourself and to help those around you to do the same.    Girls Gone Wise by Mary Kassian has some great content about this topic.
  • It is easier to remain pure when I know there is a particular/specific standard of purity that I have committed myself to and will be violating when I make certain decisions.  It is really helpful if I know someone is going to be holding me accountable to the decisions I have made about that topic.
  • Consider the commitment to not spend ANY time alone at the home of people of the opposite sex.
  • Carefully consider written personal standards regarding how much or in what way you will touch people of the opposite sex.
  • Consider the way you hug.  Should you hug a person of the opposite sex?  If so, what should that hug “look like” (side hug, full frontal hug, etc)
  • To quote Josh Harris, “The longer your ‘no big deal’ list is before marriage, the shorter your ‘very special’ list will be after marriage!”  We can maximize our joy in marriage by saving as much as possible for it, including kissing, touching, and even holding hands or hugging.
  • If you do not have a close relationship with a godly father, consider asking a godly man from church to act as a “father” to you regarding relationships. This father figure and his wife could be involved in helping you think through potential dates, interviewing potential interested men, helping you think through marriage decisions, etc.
  • Some dating men have given lists of questions to others to ask at any time regarding their purity.
  1. Regarding ____________________:
  • Married women, God has given us a precious thing in our marriages – the opportunity to develop the closest relationship we can have on this earth.
  • It would be easy for us to become impure by forming inappropriately close relationships at work, by focusing on the godly husband your friend has, or worse! – by focusing on the “fantasy men” in Christian novels or on TV!
  • Discuss with your husband and commit to guidelines that will protect your marriage, (even if he is not willing to do the same or doesn’t see the importance of such standards).  Discuss how you will relate to coworkers, friends, bosses…of the opposite sex, etc.
  • Spend your thoughts focusing on your husband’s strengths instead of weaknesses.  This will help keep you from being tempted to covet.
  • When we begin to covet, not only does it displease a holy God, it is foolish!  The men we are comparing our husbands to are not perfect either, and there is much we do not know.  Of course, we want all of our husband’s good qualities and then we want to add someone else’s strengths! (There have been counseling situations where a woman who divorced her first husband because she found someone “better”, only to be looking for a biblical way to leave this second one and return to the first, because suddenly, he was looking better and better compared to her current husband!  Oh how deceitful our lusts are!)
  • Avoid close relationships with men other than your husband.  NEVER discuss problem areas in your marriage with another man, with the exception of a wise biblical male counselor who has others sitting in the room with him.
  • Avoid being alone with another man.  The counselors at the church have a guideline that they do not counsel women without someone else in the room or without leaving the door open.  This is a protection for everyone involved! 
  • Work at developing your relationship with your husband, even if it is imperfect.
  • Pray for your husband and for your marriage regularly!
  1. Encourage both giving and ____________________ loving accountability.

Hebrews 10:25 not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.

D.  Application Questions

X.  Questions

XI. Recommendations for Further Study

The Purity Principle by Randy Alcorn

The Way of Purity by Mike Cleveland

Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges

Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild by Mary Kassian

Finally Free by Heath Lambert

A Fight to the Death by Wayne Mack

Holiness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Gospel Treason by Brag Bigney

Spectacular Sins by John Piper

Killing Sin Habits by Stuart Scott

Temptation by Jay Adams

Idols of the Heart by Elyse Fitzpatrick

Redemption by Mike Wilkerson

Transformed Into His Likeness by Armand P. Tiffe

Attitudes of a Transformed Heart by Martha Peace

You Can Change by Tim Chester

Whiter Than Snow by Paul Tripp

Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges

Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper

Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

The Hole in Our Holiness by Kevin DeYoung

The Greener Grass Conspiracy by Stephen Altrogge

 

 

Bev Moore

Beverly serves as a Biblical Counselor for the Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries.