Communication #5

Faith Church May 7, 1992 Ephesians 4:25-32

- we've been studying what the Word of God says about
- Let's quickly review the four rules of communication from
  Eph. 4:25-32
  INPUT - rule and a verse?

- last week we talked about the important subject of "circuit

  INPUT - what is a "circuit jammer?"

  INPUT - who can give an example of a circuit jammer?

- the question we ask in each of these lessons is - Are you
   taking steps of growth and change in this important area
   of life?

- one other introductory question - Unbelievers also talk
   about communication. You might even find someone who would
   use a list of "rules of communication," though of course
   they would not be based on the Scripture.
   INPUT - what is different about the way view communication
   and the way the unsaved world views it (go after Christ-

- this morning we're going to move into another area of
   communication--the area of non-verbal communication.
- I'd like to start by dividing you in groups and asking you
   to look at a series of passages that illustrate different
   kinds of non-verbal communication.
- as with last week's lesson, we are relying heavily on Wayne
    mack's book - "Your Family God's Way" and we would surely
    encourage you to get it and read it.

I. Biblical Examples of Non-Verbal Communication

    A. Genesis 3:8-10 - hiding and covering-communicating
         fear, guilt

    B. Genesis 4:5-6 - fallen countenance-communicating
         anger, stubbornness, rebellion

    C. Genesis 32:6-7 - dividing people into two bands-
         communicating fear, distrust (could also look at
         this passage from the perspective of Jacob
         misinterpreting Esau's non-verbal communication of
         sending the messengers)

    D. Genesis 37:3 - Jacob giving Joseph a coat of many
         colors-communicated love, favoritism

    E. Genesis 39:4 - Potiphar gives Joseph great
         responsibility-communicated trust (could also look
         at this from the perspective of what Joseph's former
         actions had non-verbally communicated to Potiphar
         about the kind of person Joseph was.)

    F. Genesis 40:6-7 - Pharaoh's servant's facial
          expressions-communicated sadness.

    G. Joshua 7:6 - Joshua tearing his clothes-communicating
          anger, frustration

    H. I Sam. 1:4-10 - Hannah crying and not eating-
          communicated sadness, bitterness

    I. I Sam. 18:4 - Jonathan giving gifts to David-
          communicated love, friendship

    J. I Kings 19:3, 4a - Elijah fleeing from Jezibel-
          communicated fear, distrust

    K. I Kings 21:4 - Ahab's "poochy lip" over Naboth's
          vineyard-communicating sadness, greed,

    L. Prov. 24-26 - maintaining eye contact-communicating
          interest, desire to hear and obey

    M. Proverbs 7:6-9 - (actions communicate) going with a
          harlot-communicating foolishness, lack of

    N. Mark 2:3-5 - taking unusual steps to bring friend to
          the Lord-communicated their faith

    O. Luke 18-10-13 - position praying-communicates
          pride/humility--view of God

    P. Luke 10:30-35a - (actions) refusing to help a person
          in need-communicates concern, love

    Q. Luke 15:3-4, 8, 20 - diligently seeking that which was
          lost, rejoicing when it is found-communicates what
          is important, treasured

- point of these passages is that there are many kinds of
   non-verbal communication.
- now, at this point in the lesson--we want to make two
   important points about this subject.

II. Two Important Ideas To Keep In Mind On This Subject

    A. ...can be misunderstood

        - INPUT - biblical examples of non-verbal
            communication being misinterpreted?

            Hannah/Eli - I Sam 1:12-18

            Early believers - Acts 2:1-15 (thought they were drunk)
          - Since we surely don't want to misinterpret someone
           else's non-verbal communication, what biblical
           principle(s) do we need to keep in mind until we
           have clear facts (I Cor. 13)

        - so this point is directed at the one receiving the
          non-verbal communication.
        - it is possible to misinterpret it.

        - Illus. - Priest/rabbi - (Mack - 67-70)

- so, if right now you're thinking of this subject from the
   perspective of receiving non-verbal communication-be sure
   to factor in this point.

- however, our main concern this morning is to look at this
   subject from the other perspective--when you and I are
   sending non-verbal messages.
- in those cases-we must keep in mind:

    B. We are responsible for this area of our life

        - its true at times someone may misinterpret our non-
          verbal messages
             - but often time their interpretation is exactly
               right because we have not pleased the Lord in
               this area.

             - in the previous lessons-we've been talking
               about communicating verbally in a way that
               pleases the Lord and honors His Word
             - now we're talking about working on ways to
               make our non-verbal communication consistent
               with the way we want to come across verbally

        - its important to note here that we may be sending
          signals that we don't even realize, or that are
          different than the ones we think we're sending

             Mack - illus - p. 64

- at this point I'm going to ask you to get back into your
   groups and we're going to try to do three things:

III. Categorizing non-Verbal Communication

    A. INPUT - as a group, list as many kinds of non-verbal
         communication as you can.

        - maintaining eye contact
        - avoiding eye contact
        - rolling eyes
        - stern look
        - pleasant look
        - frown
        - smile
        - smirk
        - pout
        - worried expression
        - angry expression
        - fearful expression
        - sloppy dress
        - neat dress
        - backing off
        - standing close
        - seating positions
        - use of time
        - use of finances
        - how we laugh
        - what we laugh at
        - willingness to help others
        - spirit/manner in which we help
        - how we listen
        - our presence/absence
        - attempts to avoid communication

- now I'd like you to take those ideas and organize them in
   two categories

    B. non-verbal behavior that hinders effective

    C. Non-verbal behavior that enhances communicating

IV. Non-verbal Charades

    - in the time we have left, we're going to try some non-
       verbal charades.


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