Communications #4

Dr. Steve Viars May 2, 1992

I. Case Studies

- break into groups and go over case studies

- goal is:

a) review four rules--make them "part of you"

b) practice applying them/using in real life

II. Circuit Jammers

(give Wayne credit and recommend book - "Your Family God's Way")

A. Passages

- break into groups

- go over passages (handout based on verses from pp.
59-61 in Wayne Mack's book)

- identify which "circuit jammer" is listed in each

- see answers on enclosed sheets from Wayne's book

B. Other examples of circuit jammers

1. blatant lying

"yes, I'll do that" but they don't

"I didn't do that" but they did

"I was only kidding" when they meant every word

"I'm sorry I forgot to do what you asked me to
do" when they're not sorry and they didn't
merely forget.

2. lethal exaggeration

"you never want to do what I want to do"

"You're always late"

"You'll never learn"

3. misrepresentation

cf. Hagar comic strip - goes to doctor who says,
"You're fat and flabby, for a man your age, I'm
amazed at the shape you're in!"

- wife asks - "what'd the doctor say?"
- Hagar says - "He said for a man my age, he
can't believe the shape I'm in."

- a person could have misrepresented Paul by
changing some punctuation:
"Let him that stole steal, no more laboring
with his hands the thing which is good..."

4. sidetracking

- when no one issue is thoroughly discussed

- any time you get close to an area where the
person needs to change, they change subjects
and get you on another track

5. verbal slamming

- this is OK in Ping Pong, but it's not right
when communicating.

- Prov. 15:1 - "A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger."

6. cancellation speech

- "That was a good meal, why don't you cook that
way more often?"

- "Thanks for calling me when you knew you'd be
late. I just can't understand why you don't
do that all the time."

7. gunpowder speech

- Prov. 18:6 - "A fools lips bring strife, and
his mouth invites a beating."

- Wayne illus - complimented a counselee on how
well she completed her PDI. She replied with,
"well, isn't that the way you're supposed to
fill them out?"

8. ventriloquist speech

- parents "speaking for" children or spouse
"speaking for" other spouse

- answering questions that were asked of somebody

- finishing the story

- "what he really meant was"

9. final-word speech

- know it all

- has to have the final word

- can't stand to have someone disagree

10. excessive negative talk

- constantly complain or find fault

- gloom and doom speech

- seldom affirm or talk about the positive side
of people.

11. mind reading speech

- "you meant..."

- "You can't fool me. I've lived with you long
enough and ..."

12. verbal manipulation

- "I wish you had never been born."

- "I never wanted you anyway."

- Prov. 15:4

13. double-bind speech

- Blondie illus - Dagwood talking on phone to
Herb who asks him to go shoot pool.

- Dagwood - to Blondie - "Herb wants me to go
shoot spme pool."

- Blondie - "If you don't mind leaving me here
all by myself and your conscience will let you
go, then I certainly will."

- Dagwood - (to Herb) - "She said yes, but
somehow it came out no!"

14. cotton candy speech

- superficial, lacking depth and substance

- surface talk, frivolous joking and teasing

15. excessive heavyweight speech

- opposite of above

- laughing, kidding, sports, etc. have no place

16. hasty, kneejerk speech

- Prov. 29:20

- Prov. 20:25

- Eccl. 5:2

C. Illustrations

- Go over illustrations on pp. 62-63 of Wayne's book
and identify which circuit breaker is being

Dr. Steve Viars


Senior Pastor - Faith Church

Director - Faith Legacy Foundation


B.S.: Pre-Seminary & Bible, Baptist Bible College (Now Clarks Summit University)
M.Div.: Grace Theological Seminary
D.Min.: Biblical Counseling, Westminster Theological Seminary

Dr. Steve Viars has served at Faith Church in Lafayette, IN since 1987. Pastor Viars leads and equips Faith Church as Senior Pastor with a focus on preaching and teaching God’s Word and using his organizational skills in guiding the implementation of the Faith Church mission and vision. He oversees the staff, deacons, and all Faith Church ministries. Dr. Viars serves on the boards of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, Biblical Counseling Coalition, Vision of Hope, and the Faith Community Development Corporation. Steve is the author, co-author, or contributor to six books and numerous booklets. He and his wife, Kris, were married in 1982 and have two married daughters, a son, and five grandchildren.

Read Steve Viars’ Journey to Faith for the full account of how the Lord led Pastor Viars to Faith Church.

View Pastor Viars' Salvation Testimony Video