Communications #6

Faith Church May 16, 1992 Ephesians 4:25-32

- we've been studying what the Word of God says about

- we've studied:
1) the four rules of communication
2) we've talked about "circuit jammers"

- last week we began talking about non-verbal communication
- some studies indicate that as much as 55% of our
communication one another is non-verbal
- of course there's no way to verify that and I'm not
throwing it out as "gospel truth," but there's no
question that non-verbal communication makes up a
significant percentage of how we communicate with one

- if that percentage is anywhere close to being accurate,
it's imperative that we give this subject some serious
- last week we looked at a number of passages of Scripture
that illustrated different kinds of non-verbal
communication (or different things that could be
communicated non-verbally)
- INPUT - what were some of those passages or things that
could be communicated non-verbally?

- we tried to make two important points about this kind of
communication last week
- one had to do with the way we send non-verbal messages, and
the other had to do with the way we receive them

- INPUT - what was the point about the way we send them? (we
are responsible for this area of our life)

- INPUT - what was the point about the way we receive them?
(this area can be easily misunderstood)

- Kevin Doerr is going to come with an illustration of this
second point.

III. Categorizing non-Verbal Communication

A. INPUT - as a group, list as many kinds of non-verbal
communication as you can.

- maintaining eye contact
- avoiding eye contact
- rolling eyes
- stern look
- pleasant look
- frown
- smile
- smirk
- pout
- worried expression
- angry expression
- fearful expression
- sloppy dress
- neat dress
- backing off
- standing close
- seating positions
- use of time
- use of finances
- how we laugh
- what we laugh at
- willingness to help others
- spirit/manner in which we help
- how we listen
- our presence/absence
- attempts to avoid communication

- Come back together - put lists together

- now I'd like you to take those ideas and organize them in
two categories

B. non-verbal behavior that hinders effective

C. Non-verbal behavior that enhances communicating

IV. Non-verbal Charades

- in the time we have left, we're going to try some non-
verbal charades.

- small groups - each is assigned an item from the list
below. They are to discuss how that item could be
communicated non-verbally and design a skit to illustrate
the principle.
- each group will present their skit to the class.
- one person should be designated as the non-verbal
- the other group members can talk during the skit, but
the designated non-verbal communicator cannot.

- Score - 1 point for every one that is answered correctly
(while your team is observing). One point for every
team that answers yours correctly (while you are
giving the skit).

- Summary points to remember about non-verbal communication

1) Regularly ask what your non-verbal communication is
"saying" to others.

- this is an area that many of us don't think much about.
- we need to get in the habit of concentrating on this
more than we do.

- it would probably be good to ask some people close to
you what kind of "non-verbal signals" you typically
send, and what you could do to change that.

- one of the purposes of the skits was to show how
difficult it is to consciously think about:
- how to communicate non-verbally
- what the best way is to get the message across in
the way that is easiest to understand by others.

- It's important that we regularly ask what this area of
our lives is communicating to others.

2) Be honest about what's happening "inside."

- let's take a minute and think about "why" our non-
verbal communication doesn't always match up with what
we're saying with our lips.

- Proverbs 26:23-26, 28

- these verses are talking about a person who is saying
one thing with his lips but something completely
different is going on the "inside"

- it's possible to not want to face up to what I'm really
thinking, wanting, feeling -- especially when those
thoughts, desires, emotions are wrong or bad
- the tendency for some of us is to cover them up or deny
them instead of dealing with them biblically

- often that results in a conflict between verbal
communication and non-verbal communication

3) Know when to explain

- there are appropriate times to explain to others why
you might be communicating non-verbally in a certain

- cf. the husband who comes home and is "quiet"

INPUT - what might be some reasons for his "quietness"

INPUT - what might that communicate to the wife?

INPUT - what does he need to do to be sure his non-
verbal communication isn't saying the wrong thing to
his wife?

Faith Church